Not all families have a Mrs. Cleaver as a mom and to expect our moms, or ourselves as moms, to be Mrs. Cleaver would be a tragedy. We don’t choose our moms, we are born to them without our consent. Mothering is a sacred calling. Many times I have heard people say they wish they had someone else’s mom as their mother, but they have no idea what her children say about their upbringing in her home. There have been other moms in the church that many teens wished was their mom, but what they didn’t know was those women had problems with drug addiction, financial irresponsibility, or were emotionally abusive to her own kids. We never know what another mom is really like, all we see is what each mom wants us to see.
Each family grows up with the mom that was appointed to them and we can either reject them or embrace them. I find embracing them to be much healthier than rejecting them, but there certainly are some instances when it’s best to walk away if the mom is causing a lot of turmoil in your life, but use wisdom and grace in doing so.
I don’t often speak openly about my upbringing with my mom, because we had many rough years. My mom has shared her testimony of alcoholism from time to time, but she hasn’t decided to make her testimony a very big part of her life and I respect that. However difficult those years were, (she went into recovery when I was 16) she is the mom God appointed me to. I don’t wish my years growing up would have been any different. The journey our family went through together was difficult at times, but there were many good times as well. Those rough years were used to form my life into a vessel that now ministers to families going through the same things. God has taken our cracked lives and put his Light in and made us into Lamps.
All moms make mistakes and sometimes we think we’re making the right decisions only to find out later our best decisions wounded our kids without us knowing. My 15 year journey through legalism was turning me into an awful mean spirited mom and I thank God that he pulled us out when He did. Each family has it’s dysfunctions and God’s power is made strong in our weaknesses. I am thankful for the mistakes my parents, and my husband and I as parents, have made over the years. Those mistakes gave way so Jesus could pick us up and show us His grace in our parenting.
The journey our families now have through healing is creating stronger ties in our lives and we’re moving forward in life with profound glimpses into the Kingdom life Christ created for us and opened our eyes to.
Maybe there are some things you have not been happy about with your mom. I pray you can find peace in God, healing is in His wings. There’s an abundant life for us to enjoy and sometimes trials are a part of this journey. Over the years I have been able to look back and see just how beautiful the journey really has been. Blessings to all the mothers out there.