Avoiding Church Structure Pitfalls

August 19, 2012 by 1 Comment

In all the years we have been in ministry we have seen a fair share of chaos and utter destruction going on in churches. I believe the best way to figure out how not to make the same mistakes is to study their failure. When I correct my children’s math papers and find one with the wrong answer, I carefully look over their hand written work to find the error. The error in the ‘answer’ column is not the real dilemma. In research like this we can observe what works and what doesn’t work, but ultimately the goal is to find out what the patterned mistakes are and then correct the problem from the foundation up.

church by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

There are some popular ways of structuring a ministry organization. Some work and some don’t. Sometimes various churches will follow a model of church structure that appears to be solid, but theirs falls apart and they’re left standing in confusion at why it’s falling apart.

When a ministry begins to falter, the knee jerk reaction of many leaders is to

  • exert more control over their project
  • and over the people

They go through great lengths to drive home how much their volunteering and financial giving is needed for them to stay afloat. This might seem right, but in the end they’re putting people in bondage.

One of the first things a ministry’s leader needs to stay focused on is the people. As exciting as having their own building sounds, it should never outweigh the importance of the people. It is never wise to put your faith and hope in any vision that puts the people in bondage, even if you think the end result is for their own good. Remember how that worked out for Joseph in Egypt and God’s people remained under intense slavery for 400 years waiting for deliverance.

Beginning any organization must be done decently and in order, providing a concrete foundation and immovable infrastructure. I’m not a business guru by any means, but I can tell you from the various examples I see in church world that we’re making huge mistakes, repeatedly, and causing further damage to God’s people.

Author Bob Adams, pastor of Radiant Fellowship in Waupaca, Wisconsin and founder of That’s Not My God, says this,

“We will continually search for new and culturally relevant ways to present Christ’s message while remaining true to Scripture. We will discontinue activities and ministries that have lost relevance and effectiveness.”

The people who gather together are far more important than a building program that hinders the people from living a life of happiness and joy in the Lord. Jesus already established his Church and expressed his love through death and resurrection. He doesn’t ask us to build another temple and die financially to do it. We, the people, are the temple of God and he indwells every one of us.

There are other, more effective, ways in which to teach globally that cost much less.

A group of people can network YouTube videos and podcasts through various social networking sites for free. When they want to gather together, then can gather at a park or restaurant. They can even rent a large banquet hall from time to time to gather in more people from all over the region for worship and fellowship.

Another aspect of ministry business that tends to get sticky is when the spiritual leader is also the CEO. An organization might have to start out that way, but I advise against it staying that way. You can seek out an individual who agrees with the vision of the group who is an organizer for marketing (evangelizing) the materials created by the group to help others. I believe we need to allow the spiritual leader to focus on the spiritual growth of the people and let someone else focus on the financial growth. The Body of people is not to remain in a quadriplegic state letting the pastor do all the work. We should be fostering team work where every member functions in their strongest gifts.

  • The pastor is not the Head of the Church, Jesus is.
  • The Church was already established, by Jesus.
  • The Temple was rebuilt by Christ, it’s us The People.

I want to refrain from writing out an infrastructure model, because I think each group has something unique for their communities and they should be encouraged to follow the Spirit’s leading for their ministries.

My heart in this is to encourage all leaders to consider these thoughts and keep the people’s safety and spiritual well being a primary focus in ministry.

Sisterlisa

Related Articles:

Some Thoughts on What Church Is and Isn’t

A Few Words About Apostles

Avoiding Church Structure Pitfalls

Any Doctrine is Possible


Biblical argument for Gays

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Filed Under: Church Culture, Organic Church Tagged With: , , , ,

Freedom to Teach

July 17, 2012 by Leave a Comment

My last article about getting organized with your organic ministry was more of a brainstorming type of article based all on my own personal opinions. While I could throw out some scripture to support those opinions, I decided to let them stand as they are and let you decide whether those ideas would be of merit to you nor not. I don’t buy into any cookie cutter approach to ministry, because I feel it puts the Holy Spirit into a box that he does not belong in. I see the Spirit as well beyond our limited human minds and therefore needs plenty of breathing room and ample space to stretch us to incredible depths of faith.

Acts16 by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere
free photo source Pix-O-Sphere

I lightly touched on the idea of teaching and the need for that in ministry. Jesus taught and you can read his teachings in the bible for yourself, or you might be interested in hearing someone else’s interpretation of those teachings. Ultimately, you are free to read the bible on your own and come to your own conclusions. However, if you want to hear teaching from someone else’s perspective, don’t expect that they teach for free all the time. When you choose to go to school to learn how to be a carpenter, a doctor, or even a fashion designer, you pay for those classes. To expect a teacher to teach for free all the time can be considered rude and lack common decency. They have bills to pay. Don’t get caught up in the school of thought that a teacher needs to have his own job and still teach for free on his/her only days off. That expectation puts them in bondage to you, how would you like to work for free on your days off?

You might argue that Jesus wasn’t on a church’s payroll (which is true), but keep in mind that Jesus’ needs were met in every town he went to. He didn’t starve to death and he had sandals to protect his feet. A man doesn’t walk the bare land as much as he did on one pair of sandals spanning a three and a half year time period. In addition to his basic needs being met, he didn’t have children to provide for. In today’s society, ministers have families and each family has a unique set of needs to be met. My philosophy for organizing ministry isn’t so that the ministers do everything on their own. It is desirable to have a congregation assist in every area of ministry to alleviate the minister to simply teach and serve. Some congregations want their minister to have a full time job aside from ministry and there are congregations where the people don’t want to volunteer, so they choose to give financially. A team of people can be paid to do it all themselves, preparing all week long for the weekend activities. Both of these options are our freedom to participate in. I personally find great value in a congregation all having their part in the ministry, because it develops a team spirit toward their community. So whether your part is to support others doing it, or you get in there and volunteer your time, both are acceptable.

An organic minister without financial support will have limited time for preparing to teach, but at the same time they will be free to not teach. They won’t be bound to a specific time every week and although there are benefits of doing so, it also creates some limitations for the minister to have freedom to do other things on those days. They can write instead of teach in person and give people the opportunity to read for free. If they choose to publish a book with a company that has a great marketing campaign then they can generate an income for themselves and possibly bring in enough money to fund their own ministry. There are many ways of serving in ministry, we just need to have the freedom to brainstorm ideas and pursue what works best for us.

With all that being said, lets get down to the nitty gritty of why I teach organically. My belief in teaching is to equip others to learn of their freedom and how to teach others likewise. This is part of the message that I see in the epistles written to those who were serving in ministry.

2 Timothy 2:2 “You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.” NLT

Something beautiful that is not often highlighted (if it is, then it is usually brief and often only taught to women) is that Timothy was taught by his grandmother and his mother. Some preachers will arrogantly refuse to get their theology from women, yet they fail to acknowledge all the theology that these women taught Timothy and the theology their own mothers taught them while being raised. Anyone can be a minister and a teacher. We have the opportunity to ‘teach others also’, as we have been taught. Think about how your family’s heritage is passed down through the ages, it is passed down through story telling and through repeated practice. This is how we have come to embrace the Christmas traditions that our grandparents enjoyed. Likewise, we pass down the testimonies of our generation so future generations can learn from them. However, the point is not so future generations live by our grandparent’s faith, but that they will establish their own faith and generate their own stories to tell.

God has always been doing magnificent things in people’s lives. While he did a great work through Moses, Paul, Martin Luther, and Billy Graham, He has begun a new work in all of us and we are free to pursue that work. Whatever it is that the Spirit has told you, you are free to pursue it, to teach it, and to live it out. Part of the school anthem at Next Dimension Bible College says this,

“Let’s stop being imitators and emulators of another man’s grace. Let’s stop being counterfeiters and replicas of the ministry profile of others. Let’s stop living off of another person’s revelation. There is an adventure in discovering the “you” that is within you. It is the fullness of the measure of Christ. The maximizing of the Christ within- The Hope of Glory! Learn to be your “revealed self” because God will not anoint a lie.”

You see, if we simply live off of someone else’s revelation, then we are not living out the revelation that Christ has for us individually. If I were to live my whole life living off the revelation given to Martin Luther then why would God anoint me? What was given to Luther was for him and his community. God has a unique message for each of us and our communities. Their anthem goes on to say,

“..what about a word birthed out of your groaning and passionate anticipation- a “signature word” that identifies your plight and summarizes your destiny and purpose as an individual- not as a clone or replica of the greatness of others, but that which divinely identifies your awesome life representation.”

We each have an era  in which we live and a corner of globe where we commune with those around us. Our culture, economy, and spiritual components of life vary greatly from one corner to the other. In the bible we see the term used in Greek is, aion. This is the age in which we live. We no longer live in the aion of King James, his era has passed. He had his own ‘latter days’ to face and we have ours. What is it that the Spirit has told you about your ‘latter days’? What message and ministry has he laid at your feet to deliver to your generation and community?

Whatever passion it is that God is birthing through your anguish, you can bring about great change for your aion and bless many more aionon to come. This kind of teaching is not commonly taught in many churches. While I am tempted to ask why it’s not being taught, I’d rather ask, why not teach it? It’s an incredible act of faith to give people their freedom to pursue God without requiring they get a stamp of approval from an institution. Going to a school, or even just a weekend workshop conference, can be effective if you are seeking encouragement and inspiration to further the message God has given you. It’s about hearing how others are being led and gleaning what we can to benefit our own journey in Christ. Never let it be about copying another person’s testimony. You have your own to live out!

Go ahead and teach others what God has shown you. Do so from the depths of your heart in whatever language or lingo your friends will understand. If you desire to take classes on how to teach more effectively, then take a class and get the most of out it so it best serves you and the message you have to convey.

This all may sound so simple, and it is! So why would I need to teach this freedom when people can just go ahead and live free without Sisterlisa? Because I want to teach freedom! You don’t have to listen to me or support me financially. You are free! Freedom is the whole point, but many people are still in bondage to living in the aion of King James. Question the interpretation of the King (or pastor), “off with your head!” I’ll never chop off your head for disagreeing with me. In fact, I want you to disagree. I hope you’ll glean what you can and at the same time be free to disagree and pursue the path that God has given you in your own freedom.

If we’re really this free then why do we need teachers to teach freedom? Because not many are teaching freedom and in the process, wolves are out there trapping people in legalistic bondage. At some point, I hope you would realize you don’t need a teacher. You have the Spirit within you and he will teach you all things. Even though you are free to get your teaching directly from God, it’s still fun to get together with other folks who are on a similar journey and have fun enjoying life together.

Since the Lord has set you free, freedom is indeed what you have.

girl colorized by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Sisterlisa

Related Articles:

Being an Organic Minister

Practical and Logical Living

Challenging our Faith

Freedom to Believe and Speak About it

Filed Under: Organic Church Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

When Organic Requires Some Organization

July 16, 2012 by 1 Comment

If you’ve read my articles on being a Minister of Organic Faith and the Benefits of being an Organic Minister, you may have found yourself wondering if there is any adequate teaching to be done. Since I don’t have use of a pulpit, how do I teach the Gospel? Since I am telling people to enjoy their financial success, how do I make any money? Can we organize an organic ministry? Even a well cultivated organic garden requires some organization. How can this happen without creating another institutional trap? Can we have a building without lying to the people about the need for one?

Many Christians will attend seminaries and bible colleges for at least four years to earn a degree in ministry. They may even go into debt to do so, and it is my opinion that Jesus never intended to lead us into debt just to teach the Gospel. I can see the benefit of a classroom style of education as a basic foundation for historical education, but we aren’t designed to live in the era of our forefathers. We are designed to live in the current era of the moving of the Spirit of God. I understand that a person needs to financially support their home and family, which requires an income. So how can an organic minister teach people and have their bills paid at the same time? Surely, there must be an organic way to further the growth of the faith of the people while maintaining the financial stability of the home. My proposal for doing such a thing is definitely different than that of the traditional structure of the Institutional Church.

My opinion is that a minister prepare themselves to teach people. If a group of people desire to have a minister gain a formal education, then they may want to consider sponsoring their minister’s education by donating towards their tuition. Otherwise, the minister will need to take longer to get their education, due to the cost of many seminaries. A minister who doesn’t have a congregation, but rather is part of a congregation, may ask the pastor to help create a scholarship fund for qualifying individuals (to be determined by the congregation). I would prefer to see a congregation keep their overhead at a minimal and invest in a minister’s life, rather than having an expensive building and uneducated people. By investing in a minister’s life, they will be investing in the lives of others, since the minister is preparing themselves to serve the community.

I believe that a minister is worthy of financial support when they are serving the community with a genuine heart. When the minister has to worry about how much money to bring into the ministry, their hearts can quickly get sidetracked onto things that will taint the ministry God has given to them. I don’t believe Christ ever intended that a minister of the Gospel was to get involved in ministry as a get rich quick scheme. I’m not opposed to ministers living comfortable lives, but not at the expense of people needing to become co-dependents to him/her. A brother recently told me that he is working on his disappearing act, because he doesn’t want his ministry to be about him, but rather about God. If the ministry is truly orchestrated by the Holy Spirit then it will grow after the minister has departed and this is precisely what he teaches.

Here it is that I will tell you how I feel about fund raising. My husband is an excellent fundraiser. He has been in fund raising for most of his life and knows what it takes to raise money for charities. It is very important that a congregation has an excellent fundraiser and for the fundraiser not to be the minister. A minister should not be bound into worrying about the finances needed to care for the financial needs of an organization. I believe the fund raiser needs to be Spirit led and supportive of the vision God has given to the minister. When you have an honest partnership that values the message being taught, then fund raising comes much easier. There is no need to manipulate the people with deceptive rhetoric. If one ever feels they need to manipulate, then they have lost their vision or come to a crossroads where they no longer believe in the vision. At that point, I would suggest the partnership be dissolved. So it is the utmost importance that a congregation, it’s minister, and the fund raiser, be on the same page with the vision.

I value a minister who has taken the time to become educated in psychology. I do believe there is a beautiful co-mingling of psychology and the scriptures without violating the authenticity of the testimonies written in the pages of the bible. In fact, I think it’s extremely important that a minister be aware of the science behind psychology due to that fact that wolves in sheep’s clothing will use such information to deceive people and destroy relationships in a community of faith. The whole purpose of Paul’s message was to free people from bondage. Sadly, wolves sneak in to cast doubt and fear upon people and use manipulation to destroy their faith and require them to live by the letter of the Law in order to fill their wallets. I’d rather bless a minister financially because he/she has freed me from bondage than to pay a wolf to keep me in bondage. Furthermore, I would rather financially support a minister who preaches the freedom of the Gospel to others so they can be free as well. That is a worthwhile ministry to support!

Does an organic minister even need money? My desire is to see some organic ministers be supported financially so they can spend their time freeing people from bondage (all credit goes to God, of course. We simply repeat the Gospel). I don’t think anyone is required to support that, but I do think it’s a worthy investment. A marvelous preacher by the name of T. Austin-Sparks lived before my time and left a legacy of ministry to be free to the world. His books are available to be read online and you can order them by the case fulls at no charge at all. Oh how I wish he lived in our time! Nonetheless, his words remain for us to glean from and although we have free access to his legacy, making donations to support that legacy is worth our investment. So why not financially support an organic minister? When a minister is leading people to their freedom in Christ, spending hours every day discipling people to walk by faith, then why not invest in that? Sure would be better than investing in a manipulator who keeps you in bondage. We recently partnered with a minister who is investing his time in nurturing freedom to people in his community. We believe we have wisely partnered with an organic ministry that has incredible potential to transform lives. This is what we can honestly get behind and support.

I don’t think that organizing people into a congregation is a requirement, rather it is a freedom that people have to decide for themselves if that’s what they want. If they wish to have a congregation to gather together to learn how to lead people to freedom and  have true discipleship (because churchianity is failing in discipleship), then they may decide that getting a little organized is the best avenue for them. As an organic minister, I desire to see people live in their freedom and enjoy life. My goal would not be to see how much money I could make, but rather how I can get people to recognize their freedom and learn to wisely exercise that freedom. I would be aiming to see this happen so I could plan my own exit strategy. I don’t want people to be co-dependent on a minister. A minister certainly has a function in the world today and if Christians aimed at freeing people to walk by faith then we wouldn’t really need an expensive overhead for ministry.

There are those who don’t have the nudge from the Spirit to be this kind of minister, but perhaps they do have the nudge of the Spirit to support someone who does. Not everyone can give up their jobs to minister full time, although we all could be ministering to people right where they are at any time of day, even at work. Yes, there is a way to minister at work without violating their rules against religion in the work place (which is a great topic for another article). Before I sign off for today, may I remind us all that there is no need for organizing an organic ministry, it’s simply an option. For those who choose not to get organized about it, simply love people whenever you get a chance to. Tell them they are loved and truly free to enjoy their lives.

kisskiss by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Sisterlisa

Filed Under: Organic Church Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

The Freedom of Being an Organic Minister

July 12, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I sat up late last night discussing being a minister of organic faith with my daughter, Jessica. We often stay up late bouncing around religious and spiritual concepts. We were discussing being a minister and the complications many pastors have today. In Arizona, a pastor was arrested for not complying with building codes in regards to him hosting a religious gathering in his home.

This is not a new dilemma for pastors who have started their churches in their homes. When you place a church sign and a cross on your front yard, have a pulpit, chairs set up like pews, and a set day and time that you gather, it looks like a traditional church service. Why are we surprised when the city comes knocking on the door with police to arrest a pastor for non compliance with something as simple as adjusting the property with a few minor construction upgrades? Sure, he may have the folks park in his backyard to alleviate the roads of cars, they may be as quiet as a secret house church in China, and claim it’s a private gathering, but let’s be honest Christians and state the obvious. Buildings that have that many people in them require occupancy permits and safety upgrades in case of emergencies. I won’t even get into any speculations on whether or not he is tap dancing around the law in order to avoid obeying the laws of the land.

My purpose of this article is not to rail on this brother, but rather to share with you the pros and cons of filing yourself as a traditional religious leader versus being an organic minister.

It is never my intent to deceive the government about my ministry. I want to be sure to state that up front. Since I consider myself an Organic Minister, I have no need to be registered with the government as I am just a woman who simply loves people where they are. I have no need to gather people into one place on a regular basis, therefore we have no zoning or occupancy permits to deal with. If for whatever reason at all, the people I minister to should decide they want to gather everyone together for a night of live music and teaching, we would rent a facility for just that event. Following a path of organic faith has no requirements to gather in the same manner that a traditional church does. We gather in simple ways, much like Christ and his disciples did. We get together at the beach, at restaurants, or we meet up to participate at an activity like going to an amusement park for a fun day of enjoyment.

Pets at the Beach by brotherscott, on Pix-O-Sphere
{photo credit Scott at Pix-O-Sphere}

When a group of friends want to rent a facility for an event, there is no need for a 501c3. I can understand why some groups do have one, because it gives them tax breaks on their properties and donations. When a group decides they want to file a 501c3, then they must comply with the laws and regulations of such a filing with the government. I prefer to not get entangled in that at this time, since the way in which I minister does not need it.

I am free to invite people to my home for a meal and have a living room discussion in any topic we desire. Often times the discussion ranges from child rearing, biblical interpretations, problems in ministry structures, Christian history, or politics. This brings me to my next point about the freedom I have to discuss politics. Since I don’t have a 501c3, I can freely speak my mind about politics. The government has no hold on my tongue or opinion on how they run this country, who to vote for, or what decisions to make about bills being passed. I also don’t claim to be an authority on political matters, so my opinion is just that; an opinion. I never tell anyone who to vote for or who to financially support. That is their freedom as an American citizen.

In the manner in which I minister to people, there is no political agenda tied in with my spiritual beliefs. It is very much against my personal beliefs to enforce my opinions and spiritual principles onto other people. The government will never have to be concerned with me trying to use a pulpit to broadcast religious and political propaganda to a congregation. There was a time when I was blogging about political issues, but I have halted doing that and deleted those articles, because I found myself getting sidetracked from the true desire of my heart, which is to speak about freedom and to love people where they are no matter what their religious or political beliefs are.

I believe in a Spiritual Kingdom that can be lived out right here on earth and in cooperation with the laws of the land. I do not believe there is anything in the Spiritual Kingdom that can be overthrown by a physical nation. Jesus said this about his kingdom, “the gates of hades shall not prevail against it.” My belief about the physical world is that it is temporary and has no power to infringe upon my spiritual growth. The hades of this earth has no power over my soul and the worshipful communication I have with God.

My view and definition of worship is also non-traditional. For me, worship is not just through song, but through a spiritual communion between my soul and my Creator. I have no need to appoint worship leaders into paid positions to perform live so that my soul can commune with God. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy live music! I get to enjoy live music every week at almost any church in my community, but it’s not required. I can pop in a music CD or open up my iTunes on my computer and listen to spiritual music any time I want. I don’t need to buy a hymnal, although I do have some because I found some at a thrift store. Most modern songs today have their lyrics posted online. I just don’t have a requirement from God on what songs to sing nor do I follow any rules on worship requiring music.

Since my husband and I run our own business, we have no need to receive a salary as ministers. I’m not opposed to a minister being on salary if she/he is serving the people full time, offering certified counseling to the public for free, or taking care of their building. I think a minister who serves an entire community for free, as a ministry, should be supported. People can come to our home and we’ll encourage them, disciple them, and be there for them in emergency situations because that’s just what we do. We pay our own house payment so there is no need to ask them to.

blue door by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

My hope for people is that they will see their worth and role in this world and be joyful. I have no desire to enable them to rely on me for their growth. I find joy in seeing people not have to rely on me or any other minister. The purpose of having the indwelling Christ is so we can rely on him, not on a minister.

Jesus never taught anyone to link their gatherings into the government system. His ministry was spent visiting people from house to house, dining with them, lounging with them, and walking by the Sea of Galilee with them. He didn’t need any money, a building, or a 501c3. Sounds like an enjoyable ministry to me. This is the freedom I have as a Minister of Organic Faith.

Sisterlisa

Filed Under: Organic Church Tagged With: , , , , ,

Stop Shooting

October 20, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Sometimes we find images that are quite thought provoking. Movies, paintings, and poetry all have ways in which they speak to us about ourselves. Sometimes these things can trigger pain, sometimes they inspire us and heal. The bible can also trigger pain or inspire us…and Lord have mercy on those who use the bible as a weapon against people.

I think some folks see this image and think of it as a weapon of warfare against the dark forces of the air, which would be good as long as they don’t get sidetracked and shoot their own in the process.

People with weapons tend to get trigger happy sometimes.

What they fail to understand is that Jesus already gave us the victory. Why do they continue to shoot when there is no need?

What we need to do is stand firm in the victory and realize no weapon formed against us shall prosper.

Remember Superman? He never needed a gun, he stood firm, stuck his chest out there, and no bullet could penetrate him.

Shall we re-learn what we learned in grade school?

I’m rubber you’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.

We have the FULL armor of God, which is Christ.

We aren’t wrestling with people, the battle is in the realm of the unseen. When we use the bible as a weapon against people, shooting bullets of condemnation at fallible and vulnerable humans, we are not engaging in a battle with Christ, that is a battle of the flesh on the dark side.

The victory in Christ is grace. It’s his grace that wins and heals people.

Forming weapons out of the bible is not the way of grace.

A person who holds a gun, pointed at others, is in fear of their life. They think that holding a weapon to shoot with is going to stop their enemy from hurting them. By this, they reveal that they do not truly believe that Christ has the Victory. They think they need to kill ‘sin’ in others with their version of the bible, but they are forgetful that Jesus already covered sin.

If we’re going to use the bible, may we learn a lesson from Paul? He spoke of two ministries. The ministry of death, which was through Moses…and the ministry of reconciliation which is through Christ. So the choice is simple…Moses and death or Jesus and Life.

{photo credit is unknown}

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Second Chances

August 18, 2011 by 2 Comments

It’s been almost 20 years since my husband and I got married. The first 6 or so years can be likened to a fairy tale gone wrong..very wrong. I don’t like to get into the dirty details, but we were headed to hell in a hand basket at Mach 10. When we met, we both partied..rather hard in fact. Without telling all of the sordid tales, there’s not much we haven’t done in “the world” ..with a few exceptions, because we both HATE needles.. even getting immunizations puts me in a mental freeze. The ONE tattoo I have was enough needles for me..but nonetheless..the things we DID DO almost destroyed our lives, our marriage and our entire family was suffering.

You know that verse from the bible about people who tear down their own homes with their hands? Yes, that was us.

Charity after charity had to help us and we had used up every resource in our town trying to stay afloat all while punching more holes in our ‘boat’ along the way. We were ‘drowning’.

One awful night.. I finally left and called the police. I broke. I had enough. Words cannot describe how broken I was..but apparently I wasn’t broke enough.

We were on the verge of splitting up when a man invited us to yet another church. (eye roll) Would this be the one where we could be on a road to recovery? I didn’t know if I had it in me to try again. I didn’t think my husband did either..but we thought we’d try.

After about a month there, it was obvious that he wasn’t ready, yet I couldn’t keep going down the same destructive path.

It wasn’t long before his downhill spiral was just too obvious to the church, our neighbors, and the few ‘friends’ we had. I had to get my 2 girls and myself out of there. He was barely coming home at all at that point anyway. His drug abuse and my endless ugly nagging was tearing us both apart and our girls witnessing all of the ugliness.

And I’m giving you the cleaned up version of our past filth.

Those years were an utter nightmare, but somewhere along the way my husband finally came back to town…after being off the radar for 3 months. Not knowing if he was dead or alive was something I would never want for anyone to go through. No one in town knew where he was. I called the hospital, the jails, I googled for him. He was..gone.

Those 3 months felt like a lifetime.

At bed time each night I would hear the sweet little voice of my oldest (who was 5 at the time) “Where’s daddy?”

Night after night.

Biting my tongue, trying to find my own composure, I calmly told her, “we’re going to trust God with daddy and he knows right where daddy is and I believe that God is ministering to daddy in ways we can’t.”

Kissing her forehead and tucking her in for the night…knowing she will ask the same question tomorrow… it got more difficult.

I refused to give her any doubt and had to fight my way through the dark valley myself, but I just had to figure this ‘faith thing’ out.

Without dragging you through all of my story in one blog post I will simply say that everything we went through was something I would not wish on my worst enemy. The ugliness of our past has no bling to it at all, nothing to sift through, the only gold you will find is who we are today and how we have reconciled, fought hard to save our marriage and now we’re approaching 20 years of marriage.

And yet we are still growing and making our way though life…with our blessed second chance. He should have never come back to me and I should have never taken him back…well some people believed that…but we didn’t. Most people we knew at the time wanted us to get a divorce. Our problems were too much for our friends and loved ones to handle. Our ugliness was breaking all of them too.

It got to where I hid it all. I stopped talking about our problems and for the sake of my own sanity and faith, I had to stop leaning on them for a listening ear.

We were the prodigals, my husband and I. We made our way ‘home’ in His tender embrace, he wiped away our tears and kept all of them in a bottle. Our pain and turmoil yielded many tears and those tears are sacred to Him.

Could it be that he has shelves and shelves of large bottles of all our tears and perhaps, could it be possible? That he may be using all those tears to water us now and bring forth fruit on our tree of life?

We have a ministry..it springs forth from our hearts..from the brokeness of our past.. to help others to get a second chance.

Because someone else’s ugliness is not too much for us to handle hearing about. We’ve been there.

We know how dark the valley is for them and how hard it is to find others who are willing to hold their hand and walk with them through the darkness.

Our prayer is that they will look within, as we did..and realize the light is within them and their brokenness is how the light shines through...Serena Woods says our brokenness makes us into lamps.

People don’t need to be enabled, they need to be lifted up so they can realize their potential and have confidence that they can make it through.

But it doesn’t help when they look over the horizon and see raging hostile people ready to stone them to death.

We got a second chance at life. Can you give people a second chance?

If not, can you at least remain silent so others can?

Grace, it’s so radical that some find it to be offensive while others find their way back to life through it.

There are three people on my heart today…

  • Casey Anthony
  • Kevin Schatz
  • Elizabeth Schatz

Casey pleaded not guilty and that infuriates people!

Kevin and Elizabeth pleaded guilty…and that infuriates people.

You see even a repentant heart that fully confesses doesn’t soothe the hostility and rage in the hearts of some people.

And yet Jesus said that if you hate in your heart YOU have already committed murder.

Guilty as charged…all of us.

I’m not asking anyone to allow these 3 people into their lives, to support them financially, or allow them to baby sit your children…but may I be so bold as to ask… be silent.

Hold your tongue. Bind your rage.

There are ministers of the Gospel of Grace who are reaching out to offer the same second chance we’ve been blessed to receive..because grace is what saves us.

When we forgive others, our Father forgives us.

And whoever is forgiven much, will love HIM much.

How will Casey, Kevin, and Elizabeth develop a deeper love for Father? Through grace, it’s the only way.

Jesus made the way possible..the door is wide open and we want to minister grace so they can discover this healing within.

Don’t block the way!

Where can you direct your energy..the energy that drives your anger over lives lost…? That energy can be shifted, reshaped, and formed into something positive.

If you have a heart to minister grace..the grace that gives us all a second chance, won’t you please join the many of us by raising this awareness of grace?

Joy did.

Sarah Markley did.

Can you raise awareness about books that deceive?

Elizabeth Esther did.

The community at No Longer Quivering does this on a regular basis.

Because while we can minister grace to bring healing to the lives that have been broken, we also need to put our feet down as a community..to educate people of the dangers of some forms of child ‘discipline’. It’s a preventative measure.

And don’t forget to pray…for the victims. They need healing.

The Schatz children will have a life long journey to find full healing..but it doesn’t help them to grow up to see the constant rage the community has over their sister’s death. No one hurts more than they do. And a couple of those children are old enough to read what you’re all saying about their parents. So please use your words wisely… use grace. Otherwise your hostile words heap more coals on their innocent, precious heads.

face boy child by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

My precious son, Timmy. Who never had to see his mommy and daddy’s past.

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The Example of the Ministry Wives

September 22, 2009 by 4 Comments

As a ministry wife and ministry leader of a women’s ministry, I have been in several ladies conferences all over the state of California. I have seen famous ministry wives, from pastor’s wives, missionary wives, music ministry wives, evangelist wives, etc. take the speaking position to tell us the principles to live by in this dark and dieing world. They’re gorgeous you know, every one of them. They have the greatest outfits, sparkling jewelry, and the most amazing families. Their names shine in the spotlight and the greatest of honors is given to them when they are introduced. Sunday School teachers and pastors teach young girls to look up to their ministry wives as examples to them. This kind of mentality is teaching young ladies and the women in your churches to idolize you.These ministry wives aren’t perfect and they’ll even tell you they’re not, but most of them won’t dare tell you what they struggle with. In their lives, although living in a glass house, they hide their sin. They hide their failures. They have stumbled over a rock and fallen down. But they won’t tell a soul. They find their way up on the rock, to use it as a stepping stone, but they won’t warn those coming from behind. They fail to warn you because they don’t want you to know that they fell. They don’t want their example to be tarnished. They feel an obligation to protect the ministry.

praying by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere
free photo source Pix-O-Sphere
Soon a lady will come along and stumble over the same rock. The ministry wife knew it was there. She could have shared her testimony of God’s power to overcome and it could have taught that woman how to step up on it, than to fall over it. The ministry wife refuses to allow God to use her testimony. The day will come when that ministry wife will fall so hard that she won’t be able to hide it. She’ll either sulk away and fall into depression, if she hasn’t already, and pride will block her from doing what God wanted her to do all along. Or perhaps she will finally turn around and tell the women in her church that she fell and tell them how God is guiding her through this tough time.

Dear ministry wives, when the women in your ministries see you as a real person with real struggles, when they see it without you trying to hide it under the rug, they will finally see that you are real. My friend Serena puts it well when she said, He levels us, he makes us all equals. God puts you equal with the rest of the women, right where He wants you all, at the foot of the cross. Why try to avoid that? If you are meeting Jesus at the foot of the cross, why are you hiding it?

It’s not our place to try to protect a ministry. If it’s truly God’s ministry then He would have the people to see the failures so He can be glorified, otherwise we take the glory for ourselves. The envy and bitterness that rises in the hearts of the people is due to a lot of things, but from what I have seen and experienced it stems from this. The women see ministry wives as perfect and when their imperfection is seen by the women, and they see it covered up, they form an opinion of you. While it’s not a healthy opinion, it can be avoided if we would just be honest. I believe the yoke that many pastor’s place on their wives and families is a yoke that Christ never intended for them to bear. The pastors, leaders, and their wives are not Jesus Christ. He already came to show us His ultimate example. We don’t have to reinvent that example.

Jesus Christ came and chose the sinners to lead His people. He took their broken lives and showed His marvelous grace and mercy through their testimonies. He used murderers, gluttons, unlearned men, low class women, and even children to show His mighty work. It was the religious leaders that he rebuked and made to be blind.

Luke 5:32, “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”
If your sin is one that causes you to be ‘disqualified’ to be a leader, then graciously step down. Why continue to take on that kind of battle on your own and continue to try to live up to what you think the people need to see? What they need to see is that it’s perfectly acceptable to take a step down and get a break. Taking a break is not quitting! It’s resting and we were told to rest in Christ. Even He took times to rest.

After many years in a ministry, hiding failures under your living room rugs, how can you possibly live a real authentic life with your fellow believers? You might think that no one knows, but they see right through you. The women in your churches love you and want to help support you in tough times in your life. It’s the gossip right? Ministry wives and their leaders are afraid of the gossip. I know what this feels like. If you were transparent with what God is doing in your life, they would have no where to go but to God and they would glorify and magnify Him.

When a ministry wife humbles herself at the foot of the cross, we all realize we are level at the place where God has called all of us. When the women see you seeking Christ in your despair, they will rally alongside you and encourage you as they see your face turn to His. Sure maybe a few critics might not, but what does that matter when we’re all beholding the face of Christ together? Think for a moment. The fear of someone looking down on you because you’ve sinned. That’s how we all feel. Women in the churches are told by their leaders to go to the cross, yet their very own ministry wives won’t do the same thing. You wonder why many women in the churches won’t go to the cross and truly repent? Because their ministry wife examples won’t do it either.

The lie from the enemy to “Be an Example” is highly over rated. The Bible says to be an example OF the believers, not TO the believers. When we are an example OF the believers, we will be a transparent people, seeking the cross at level ground. What kind of example are you trying to be? An example of perfection or of humility?

I have been at the place where God leveled me. Many times, but as a ministry leader I came to the place where the devil met me with his offer. I could accept his offer of pride and the power to cover up what God had revealed to me, or I could humble myself in Christ and the women I minister to. I chose to be humbled. I arranged a meeting with the women and I confessed my failures to them. I confessed those things I had done wrong. God used it and He has been glorified. The women freely forgave me and embraced me as I sat there in their presence. We were all level at the foot of the cross that day and that’s where we’ve been together ever since.

God unified our relationships to Him and to one another. Our ministry became stronger through that time and it continues to grow.

“Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for my fellow ministry wives all over the world. Allow us and our husbands to see where that level ground is. Break the pride the enemy has been offering us to hide our testimonies. Help us and empower us to allow ourselves to show the world the testimonies you are giving us. What a gift to receive, a testimony for Christ. May we not hide it, God grant us the ability to set it on a hill.
In Christ’s Precious Name, Amen.”

 

SisterLisa

Related Articles:

The Pastor’s Affair

Patience with One Another

Sin Repellent is Worthless

 

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