Who Defines Me

September 11, 2012 by 2 Comments

I feel a breaking going on in my soul and it all begins with a thought. A breaking down of a stronghold that has been planted in my mind. It has been like being under a dark cloud which manifested through words..words can impact people for good or for bad. There’s an area of my life, a skill and a passion, that was cast down through negative words spoken to me. Words of doubt were hurled at me and some sank in deep, the ones that came from someone I love. These are the worst kinds of dark clouds…when someone we love condemns us and doesn’t believe in us. When a stranger says negative things it doesn’t affect us as bad, but when someone you love waters that bad seed…it’s crushing.

“You’re beliefs about God are why you aren’t succeeding in your passion. Even worse that you vocalized your beliefs to others.”

That hurt…deeply. Not only do words like this hurt my passion..but it hurts my thoughts about me. These words are condemning and most likely the one who said it has no idea how it affected me.

storm by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere
photo hosted at Pix-O-Sphere

This skill and passion I have hasn’t left me, but it has remained buried..stifled..and has left me discouraged for far too long. This week I began giving thanks for this skill and passion. I love this part of who I am! I am mustering up the strength to kick back those discouraging seeds of doubt and reject their implantation in my mind and heart. They don’t belong in me..they don’t fit in..because Christ is within and he doesn’t doubt me for a second!

The more I thank Him for this skill and passion, the more encouraged I become to nurture this within me. The more I believe in myself and my vision, the more I want to sharpen the skill and deepen the passion. I see a glimmer of hope now and I’m choosing to be patient with myself and my vision. No one has a vision become a reality over night. It takes time, diligence, and love.

  • I began with acknowledging the birth of this particular thing in me.
  • I accept that it is a gift given to me.
  • I vocalize my thankfulness for this gift.
  • I apply my belief in this gift by stepping forward in nurturing it.

No matter what negative things people say about me or my vision, it is a gift given to ME, not to them.

My vision and passion is not dependent on what they think, it’s dependent on what I think and how I take each step into building it up.

Even those who we think know us best, can still misunderstand who we are. They are not the Authority of who we are within. My Authority does not condemn me, He lives within me. Only He can accurately define me…He is the Author and Finisher of my faith and my identity. Beautiful, wonderful, passionate, and creative.  And why shouldn’t I be creative? Creativity is a part of who He is within me and his creativity is bound to come shining through.

As far as my beliefs about how amazing he is… how utterly forgiving he is..and amazingly gracious he is…if that upsets people and it causes them to withdraw from my life then they don’t need to be a part of my skill and passion. I wipe the dust from my feet and walk forward in faith.

He who began a good work (skill and passion) in me, will perform it to his Appointed Day!

Other people’s doubt in me and my God have no bearing on what He is doing in my life and I refuse to allow their words to be a dark cloud anymore. Christ is my cloud by day to keep me cool and my fire by night to keep me warm.

It’s long been said the magic words are, “Please may I?” But I’m thinking there’s more power in gratitude…and so I say the magic words… thank you, thank you, thank you.

pastel floral by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere
hosted at Pix-O-Sphere

Sisterlisa


God and our Political Platforms

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Healing Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Hellbound

August 18, 2012 by 3 Comments

It’s the traditional teaching of many of the 30,000+ denominations of Christianity in our world today, yet not a belief that is held by all Christians. In my interactions with my pagan neighbors, I discovered Christianity isn’t the only religion in the world who believes in some form of hell.

But should this even matter in the grand scope of Christ’s finished work?

In my earlier years of religious study in fundamentalism, hell was a major factor of doctrine. At the same time, I was taught ‘once saved, always saved’. So to me, hell wasn’t really an issue since I had faith in Christ. They teach you that once you believe in Christ by faith, that you absolutely will never go to hell. It didn’t need to be a concern for us as believers. However, it was still a concern if your loved ones and neighbors were on the road to hell.

I had to come to the place where I was going to trust God with whatever plan he had for humanity and follow his teaching of ‘love your neighbors as yourself’, regardless of what version of hell people did or didn’t believe in.

So does hell matter in the Christian tradition?

From the description on the website Hellbound? the Movie, we see a variety of perspectives from all sorts of spiritual leaders. My husband and I have studied diligently and can see how each denomination comes to their individual conclusions. We understand. However, we also take into consideration the testing of interpretations by measuring them against the fruit of the spirit (faith) and the works of the flesh (doubt).

It’s very important to understand many things when studying the bible from the era the writers lived in, their culture, the message from God for each of those generations, and how we grow or weaken based on those teachings.

When a teaching puts us in bondage to fear, worry, doubt, panic, restlessness, and anger then we would be wise to reconsider the teaching. However, that is not to say that we should totally disregard the passages, but rather look at them again and see if there is a different message than what we were previously taught.  If there is a different perspective then we should look for it. We should be better stewards with the scriptures than what we had been in previous generations. One no longer has to spend an outrageous amount of money to attend a seminary. We have a lot more free resources now and better ways of communicating than ever before. There is no longer an excuse to not study for ourselves.

Take the following questions and paste them into Word or on your blog and prayerfully answer them. Avoid trying to answer them with the scripted responses your church tradition has taught you. Answer them from the depths of your heart. From the place where you are truly you. Consider providing examples from your own journey. Avoid yes or no answers. Please give thoughtful soul widening responses.

  1. In the long run, how does the teaching of hell affect our lives?
  2. How has Christianity become complacent towards their fellow man, because their salvation is secure and have nothing to worry about?
  3. How satisfied are we with our evangelism efforts if our neighbors might burn in hell for all eternity?
  4. How often have we felt like evangelistic failures when our loved ones refuse to accept Christ, no matter how much we beg them, and they die not ever proclaiming faith in Christ? How does this affect us?
  5. How do we carry the weight of their lost soul for the rest of our lives?
  6. What kind of ‘accountability’ is there toward us when we face God?
  7. How will we feel if their blood really is placed on our hands?
  8. What sort of experience will we go through when we see them cast into the lake of fire right before our eyes before we get to walk through the pearly gates? What kind of rejoicing will we partake in after witnessing that?

This doesn’t sound like a very encouraging scenario nor does it sound anything like the abundant life Christ is said to have brought us into.

So I’ve gone back to the scriptures to see where we, as Christ followers, should find our foundation in this very important discussion.

  • If Christ has paid for the condition of sin once and for all, then why do I have to live in constant worry for others?
  • I thought faith in Christ ‘saved me from hell’ and if I’m saved from hell then why must I continue to fear hell?

This doesn’t sound like a ‘saving to the uttermost’ to me. Even the scriptures say that anything of fear is not of faith.

  • So do we really have total, absolute, faith in Christ and his finished work or not?
  • If we’re saved from hell then why must hell be the focus to get us to Christ and to living a Christ-like life?
  • I thought Paul said the Law (the former schoolmaster) was what led us to realize our need for Christ.

Isn’t a life in Christ supposed to be about love, faith, and grace? He said we would be safely grazing beside the rivers of life, well protected, and peaceful.

But this doctrine of literal eternal torment is anything but peaceful.

If we really believed in this literal hell, then why haven’t Christians all over the world given up everything in their lives to walk the highways and bi-ways of life and tell every single person out there about this hell and how to avoid it?

Maybe we have this inward voice asking us, “What if I’m wrong?” What if we are so wrong about this doctrine, what is it that we have done?

  1. Terrorized our neighbors with a make believe horror story with them as the star of the story?
  2. Disrupted any amount of peace they had in their lives with an image that causes nightmares?
  3. Created such a fear that near death experiences become more traumatic than the illness they already suffer?
  4. Sent people into severe depression when their loved ones die before the preacher can get to their house to explain the bible?
  5. Divided entire families due to the forceful begging and pleading to get them to recite a prayer and go to church with you?
  6. Isolated people in their churches and homes, afraid to live life to the fullest?
  7. Cause doubt of their own standing with God if they didn’t ‘get saved right’ or put enough faith in Christ to actually save them?

It seems to me that this is not the Kingdom in which Christ established for us.

  • Why would he die and resurrect only to bring us into such an awful place of worry, depression, and doubt?
  • How can we possibly trust him with our own salvation and believe that he will make us watch our loved ones get tossed in the lake of fire?
  • What kind of groom is that?

If something scary flashes on the TV screen, my husband covers my eyes for me, to protect me. Don’t we do the same for our children? But it is a popular belief that Jesus will make you watch your loved ones be thrown into everlasting torture. Many years ago, barbarians would force husbands to watch as they tortured their wives and children. They would force the wives and children to watch as they tortured daddy. This was equally torturous for the entire family. Is this really who God is?

Maybe this movie, Hellbound?, will help us to re-examine this teaching and broaden our own hope in Christ to a place where we can truly say, “Jesus is the Savior of the World”. Or perhaps it will solidify the belief of hell and we’ll all quit living our own enjoyable lives and start relentlessly banging down the doors of everyone in our towns.

If you decide to answer all the questions on your own blog, please come back and comment. Give us the link to the post so we can come read your thoughts on this controversial, but much needed discussion.

Sisterlisa

Biblical argument for Gays

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Inquisition Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

An Ageless Hope

January 21, 2012 by Leave a Comment

There has been a continual debate about Pluralism, Inclusiveness, and Exclusivity among a variety of religions. These concepts seem to be found in several cultures and religions therefore are not argued exclusively among Christian camps. I will be using some terms in this article to explore a larger hope and I ask that you work hard to see the concept I am sharing in terms of how I am re-defining common words used in many religions.

I will be using the word ‘religion’ with the definition of  ’tangible ways in which we carry out traditions in our acts of worship’. It is commonly taught that these tangible traditions are a path to a person’s salvation. However in this perspective I present today, ‘religion’ is not the “road to Salvation”. I think this definition I share of “religion” is the outward manifestation of what is already taking place in the heart…Salvation is what is happening within.

I believe that whoever we consider the Creator/Deity/Divine etc can and does work that salvation within us in a spiritual way that best fits who we are and how we come upon the revelation of such salvation. Expounding upon that thought, I wish to emphasize that our Creator meets us “where we are” and “as we are”. If our Creator decides to use metaphors from childhood fables, Hollywood sci-fi, Science, or religious texts is up to that Creator. It doesn’t mean only one of these avenues is “the only road to salvation” for all people.

I believe that being a “Christian” is a mix of cultural and theological components gleaning from the bible as their text. Other religions follow a similar concept..cultural and theological components gleaning from their spiritual texts. I will use the terms ‘Theos’ and ‘Creator’ interchangeably as a non gender spiritual being outside of and yet within our realm of existence. For the sake of keeping Theos as a relatable being to us, I use ‘him’  as a non gender term as opposed to ‘it’ which seems to break the relational aspect off from us.

What we call Theos , just may be using all kinds of avenues to get his message across… reconciliation to our Creator. It is debatable on whether or not human-kind was ever broke off from Theos or if we were simply deceived into thinking we were. I will not get into that argument here. The angle I introduce today is that of a concept of universal reconciliation. This angle is what I believe to be the foundation of all that is going on between human-kind and Theos. So in this perspective, there is no such thing as “all religions lead to god” but rather.. Theos uses any means necessary to speak the evangel( good news of reconciliation) to his creation. The people Theos speaks to in all different cultures and paths will understandably follow a unique path based on their cultural and theological communities and with whatever spiritual texts have been handed down through their generations.

If we look at this relationship between Theos and human-kind, we can see how each culture of people have found a variety of ways to come to know this Theos, how to express their path of understanding, and what that looks like for each individual(and as groups) is manifested in diverse ways.

It may very well be that Theos wants each culture of peoples to follow in a traditional pattern. Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Pagans, etc have cultures that embody such traditional patterns that are unique to their people. It is entirely possible that Theos does not want Christians to weave their beliefs and traditions in with Muslims, nor Pagans with Jews. It is evident that each religions seem to hold to a varying degree of belief about that. Maybe instead of arguing over this, we might come to respect that this might be the way in which Theos has planned out humanity to be among one another. It could be that Theos wants us to learn about each path and find ways in which to live in harmony among one another while respecting our differences and celebrating our similarities. Whatever the case may be, each individual needs to decide for themselves what traditional teaching they believe Theos wants them to participate in.

This is not pluralism, inclusiveness, nor exclusiveness, but I do believe it is the basic foundation where all three perspectives grow from. I believe that many from human-kind has done their best to navigate their lives and carry on the heritage of their tribes the best they knew how. Sadly, this has manifested many religious and political wars over the ages in their quest for freedom to continue their spiritual paths.

There is another perspective on the word ‘salvation’ that is not the same as the cosmic reconciliation of human-kind to Theos, but can be viewed as an extension of it. This ‘salvation’ I am referring to is obtained through understanding truth that leads to clarity and healthy decision making. These healthy decisions grow the metaphorical fruit that is pleasant to the growth of our spiritual lives as well as nourishing to our human relationships. This kind of fruit grows from the tree of life which is deeply rooted within us all and is drinking from the living water that is an ongoing wellspring coming from within that cosmic spiritual revelation of our reconciliation and the larger hope for the reconciliation of all to Theos.

Some may never have this reconciliation journey for themselves in this life, but this larger hope is that Theos has a way of bringing all things and people into his balance, in whatever way is best for all.

This perspective is not a religion, just a neutral perspective on what just may be the greatest hope for all mankind. It is inclusive to all, yet exclusively experienced by those who have been awakened. In this belief, Theos sends his messengers to us in a variety of ways and people need to be free to listen and follow Theos as he guides them. He may or may not guide them to follow one path for a time then divert them to another path. That is between them and Theos.

The tradition I have been following is by respecting one another’s paths while extending the invitation to learn the evangel from our/your perspective, but remain humble and not insistent on our/your way being a better or a ‘more right’ way. In all of this the philosophy of the ‘golden rule’ holds true in all paths and has proven to be a healthy way in which to find peace among each other.

I don’t know if a term already exists for this perspective, and I hesitate on coining a term for it out of the concern for it becoming misrepresented or hijacked by another insistent religion that wants to own it or change it. I dislike the ideas of labels that box people up. All I can say is that I call it an Ageless Hope that is inclusive to all, yet exclusive to those experiencing it. It may very well be witnessed at the roots of various beliefs since the beginning of time. All are invited to this evangel and may observe it and participate in it.

In upcoming articles I will share how I have come to live my life within this perspective. In my opinion, there is no reason to leave the traditions you already observe in order to participate in the celebration of life among your fellow humans who do embrace this perspective. They might be within your existing churches, PTA meetings, clubs, frats or various other circles of friends and loved ones. Many fear confessing to this Ageless Hope out of fear of disassociation from their groups. Those of us who do embrace this perspective do not require that you convert or give up anything in your life to celebrate with us. Everyone is free to celebrate and even create their own ‘tangible ways in which you carry out traditions in your acts of worship’. Bless you.

crashing tide by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Sisterlisa

Filed Under: Organic Faith Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Some Thoughts on Christian Universalism

November 16, 2011 by 2 Comments

Many times people who first come to study about Christian Universalism come from various church backgrounds and are mixing different interpretations and denominational theology together. So if you ask someone about Christian Universalism, you may get totally different perspectives from people.

There is a lot of misunderstanding about Christian Universalism and many times people automatically assume that all Universalists are in the same theological camp, but they are not. There is quite a bit of difference actually.

This is just my overview perspective of Christian Universalism, as I see it, within my own spiritual path. A Christian Universalist believes in the original Apostle’s creed. The belief of the abode of the dead has various interpretations, but the CU perspective is that this place in the Hebrew (sheol), and in the Greek (hades) is simply ‘the grave’. This is where Jesus descended to when he died, which is the same place everyone else goes when they die.

A Christian Universalist view is not a denomination per se, so you will rarely find a specific creed that they all unite under. The concept of the Royal Priesthood is taken seriously as our freedom to hear from the Holy Spirit directly and be our own judge of what to believe with grace as the foundation in our faith in Christ. This means we have the grace of Christ to search, question, and explore the scriptures and yield to the Spirit in areas that bring forth the fruit of the Spirit. As far as I can tell, most Christians believe in the Royal Priesthood, yet forget that they don’t need their pastor to be their mediator. But nonetheless, we believe in our spiritual equality among one another.

The term ‘universalist’ for a Christian Universalist does not mean everyone gets into the Kingdom no matter what their religion. But let me first explain that not all Christian Universalists adhere to a belief in the after life, yet we do all understand that the Kingdom is here and now..within us. This Kingdom we have now, is a place in which a believer in Christ has come into through grace. You see, a Christian can claim to follow Christ, but if they continue to live as if they need to obey the Law in order to enter the Kingdom then they have not yet understood this Kingdom. They might be ‘looking over the gate’ at the Kingdom, but walking freely within it is 100% by grace alone. It’s a spiritual concept and so long as a person is looking at the Kingdom as if it’s a literal plane of existence that will magically come down out of the clouds then they don’t understand that this Kingdom is already here.

Do not be confused with this Kingdom, Jesus said is already within us, with the after life. I’m not talking about the after life when I talk of the Kingdom. When it comes to the after life, I personally tend to hold all ‘doctrines’ about the after life loosely, because the only real descriptions we try to glean from the Bible about it, are hidden within parables that require ‘ears to hear’ and most people end up arguing over who really hears and who is still deaf. However, from what many Christian Universalists have come to agree upon is that God has his way of bringing all things into Christ so that balance (justice) can be obtained in the after life. How that plays out is somewhat of a mystery, but we do believe strongly in having faith in Christ.

The most often misunderstood belief among CU’s is that of hell, because we don’t believe in a literal fire and brimstone hell that tortures people forever. Over the many years of theological studies, countless theologians, and numerous debates, the interpretation of just what hell is or means is vague. But don’t let that cause you to fear for us, because we most certainly still believe that we reap what we sow. We don’t require a belief in hell to manipulate us into living a healthy and well balanced life of faith. We don’t believe in frightening people into choosing Jesus, in fact we are firm in our belief that he never intended such a thing either.

I have my own personal concept of what happens after we die and it is supported in scripture, but remember that I said the after life is vague in the bible so what I believe is really only for my own personal growth in Christ. How I view the after life has no bearing on what other people believe and my beliefs are not going to “send people to hell”.

Many Christian Universalists believe that God will purify all things through Christ. That means all things, life, animals, and people. Everything!

The book of Revelation is filled with metaphorical imagery that can seem frightening, but when we step back a bit to look at the big picture we see that this book is the Revelation of Jesus Christ. It is not the revelation of the “end times”. When we see it as a Revelation of Jesus we can see the bigger picture clearer and come to understand the metaphors for destruction, judgment, mercy, and reconciliation.

Many times people gasp in horror that we would say all people are reconciled to God, but don’t be confused. We do not think that this is some free ride for molesters, thieving pastors, or murderers to get into the ‘party’ with blood on their hands. Many of us believe that there is a process that takes place in the after life that brings us to the place of humility so we can receive his grace. Everything Christians believe about the after life is purely speculation since none of us has gone through it nor come back with any tangible evidence of it.

We believe that how we view God in this life, will manifest in how we treat others. Viewing God through the redemptive and finished work of the cross puts us all on equal footing and brings about humility. At any time a Christian thinks they’re somehow better than another person (or even other Christians) they have elevated themselves to a place of pride. There is no place for pride in Christ and therefore must be brought down to the foot of the cross. Jesus came to find every last and lost sheep. He leaves the ninety-nine to find the one, because his fold needs to be complete.

So before you spout off that Christian Universalists are from the devil and dragging people off to hell, maybe take some time to first understand what we believe and watch how we live out our lives in Christ.

It’s not a belief in hell that makes one a follower of Christ.

Filed Under: Organic Faith Tagged With: , , ,

Finding Grace in Sheol

November 14, 2011 by 1 Comment

With all the ongoing debate about the doctrine of hell, I’ve had to step back and re-examine this belief and what that belief does to our mental health, our emotions, and our spiritual growth. Regardless of what the popular crowd of Christianity says about what they believe, I am only responsible for what I believe…and what if they’re wrong?

Taking into consideration that in the Old Testament the word is actually sheol, which is simply the grave, then what does this mean? King David made his bed in sheol and God was with him. Jonah was in sheol and God heard his prayer and delivered him from that dark place. I’ve been in this kind of sheol before and He certainly lifted me up and put my feet upon the Rock.

I view this sheol as a place of torment, I should know… I’ve been there. It’s dark and frightening, but it most certainly is place where God still comes to us and lifts us out. His mercy endures forever.

This sheol is a place where we can find humility. Many have been brought low into sheol in order that they turn their eyes upward to see their day of salvation.

It seems to me that these many instances of sheol in the Old Testament is part of God’s design to bring us into greater depths of his grace. For it is in sheol that we realize we need his mercy and grace.

I believe this sheol is a valley of death where we find correction from what we think is the “right way” and discover that his rod and staff do indeed comfort us. The Great Shepherd leaves the ninety-nine to go find the one and when we are falling down into this sheol, his hook shaped staff is lowered down to bring us up into his warm embrace. Contrary to popular belief, the Great Shepherd does NOT break the legs of the sheep, nor does he condemn us…he saves us.

When I view sheol in this perspective, I am brought to the place where I understand the power that resides in all of our failures…the power to redeem. Without times of failure we would not understand redemption. Through all this we can sing praise to Him who sits on the throne. We can come to understand that all things really are in Christ and his ‘will’ most certainly will be done.

In the popular view of sheol, being a literal fiery torment, there is no restoration, mercy, or forgiveness. However, we know that King David and Jonah both received salvation from the Lord while they were in sheol. This perspective alleviates our mental anguish of ‘eternal torment’ and gives us the hope that in the darkest of valley’s he is still there. We can face the fact that we will suffer consequences in this life time, yet still reach out and grab the staff of our Great Shepherd, our Kinsman Redeemer.

The concept of what we will answer for in the after life is not only a continual debate, but an unproven one. Since I can not prove or disprove exactly what will happen in the after life (if there is one), then I will do the best I can to understand how sheol interprets into my every day life. While the popular crowd of Christians insist that sheol is an after life place of torment, they have no factual evidence of this and there is far too much wonder and enjoyment in this life to protect than to worry about what may or may not happen after we die. Their claims that you must believe in this place of eternal torment is a requirement in order to be a Christian is a fallacy. Scripture never indicates that we must believe in eternal torment in order to follow Christ. Following Christ is a narrow path indeed and one who desires to do so follows Him by faith, not under threat of fiery torture.

Remember that when someone insists that you believe ‘x,y,z doctrines’ in order to follow Christ, just remember that love does not insist on it’s own way.

Sisterlisa


Biblical argument for Gays

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Grace Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Pain Spills Out on the Tile

October 17, 2011 by 3 Comments

I meet this woman, whose face seems so sad. Her eyes are dark, her frown is deep, her heart must be heavy. At first glance a Christian might suspect that she needs Jesus, but do not judge so quickly…she already knows Jesus. This facade that Christianity puts forth that reciting a ritual prayer will make all the gloom depart just isn’t true. The truth is that we continue to face uncertain days, experience heart aches, and depression is common in the Christian community. But no one wants to admit it.

“Come over sometime, I’d love to get to know you.”

Have you ever seen the look of perplexity on a person’s face when you’re just trying to be friendly? People are so down upon themselves that they are clueless why anyone would want to spend time with them. Why is this happening to people in the Christian community?

I wonder if she’ll ever come by. I pray she does.

One day.. knock knock..I hear the knuckles of someone rapping against the door. My little doggies bark, excited to have a visitor.

It’s her, same sad face, but her eyes have a glimmer of hope and I think she’s hanging on my every word… “Welcome!”

Not sure how affectionate she is, I offer a quick hug and she accepts.

“I’ll start the coffee.”

This blessed drink becomes a sacred wine of remembrance in my home.

Hot java fills the cup. We must have large hand holding cups, to wrap our palms around.

Fresh cream and whipped topping, drizzled with caramel.

We make the cozy kind of coffee here, not plain old coffee like the mini-mart serves.

She smiles. She sips, this small sharing of milky latte warms her soul because it’s with full heart hospitality.

And I hesitate to ask, but I can sense her need to vent… “what’s troubling you?”

Tiny glistening tear drops puddle in her eyes…her lips quiver…she takes a deep breath.

Shaking her head, I can tell she’s not ready.

I tell a story of heart ache from my own past. The scars of my mind cry out though I am as gentle as possible, she sees my pain creeping out with each word.

Her hands begin to shake. She puts down her mug and reaches for the tissue box. She can no longer contain the tears, her pain spills out onto the tile.

Christians don’t dare speak of these things. Even the thought of telling how another Christian has hurt them is a bondage to their misery. Many years of threats to never speak negative about the “church of God” or you’ll be bringing “reproach upon the Bride”. So we feel this terrifying burden to keep silent and our hearts are dying.

Her pain is so deep and though she has barely revealed a word, I know. I can see it, I can feel it, the pain is common among us.

She breathes deep again, sighs and picks up her warm mug of comfort.

Sipping again, she contains herself.

Her son had passed on, a suicide. Tragic enough as it is, the pastor puts a yoke upon her that she cannot bear. Her son had not recited the Sinner’s Prayer. He never went to church. He was a college student at a state university and occasionally had visited some religious gatherings among friends. A Buddhist classmate, a Catholic roommate. He had friends who were on some sort of spiritual journey, but the pastor persisted….”But he wasn’t Protestant?”

Her eyes could no longer contain the flood of tears and they streamed down her cheeks…she reaches again for the tissue box. I listen intently and place my hand upon her shoulder. She looks down, shakes her head and barely whispers…”He’s in hell and it’s my fault.”

I can barely breathe. That pastor gave her no hope. She will live her whole life in pain, not only over the loss of her son’s life, but over his soul as well.

She cried out in pain, agony grips her soul.

“Is there any hope at all??” her lips quiver out these words in desperation. She’s reaching out for any ray of light, even a shimmer? Anything from Jesus?

I move to sit right next to her and wrap my arms around her. She lays her head on my shoulder, she sobs.

Death is hard enough as it is…let alone this. What kind of a Gospel leaves this mom with no hope?

She questions the validity of hell. This is when she begins an emotional purging…the anger rises and I see it on her face, her wrinkled brow.

Questioning such things in ‘that’ church brings some really harsh words from the members. People she thought were friends. The look of shame on her pastor’s face when she questions their gospel.

Her son’s death, the torment of his soul, and now she is shunned for questioning the concept of eternal torture.

How can a mother’s heart not question such a thing?

Jesus is the Savior that understands, he listens, and he is patient. He doesn’t lose his cool when we inquire about his plans. He freely shares his plans with us, his friends. He did not treat his friends with disgust when they asked him questions.

I rub her back, she wipes her tears. She asks, “is there any hope at all?”

There’s always hope in Christ.

When she came through my door that day, I didn’t know if she would be able to share what had been weighing heavy on her soul…it was when I shared my own pain that she felt welcomed to share hers.

A new friendship began.

Her parting words with me, “Whenever I have a hot latte topped with whipped cream and caramel, I’ll be remembering you.”

We smile, exchange hugs…”and Him who gives us hope.”

Please come again.

DSC_0400 by farmgirl, on Pix-O-Sphere
{photo credit Clarissa}

Filed Under: Friends Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

An Odd Exchange

July 26, 2011 by 7 Comments

It’s like a phantom pain, deep within my heart, that aches so deeply when I see them again. Those who I once endeared as family, those friends so dear. After all the years of faithful friendship, the barriers went up when I chose to question and search out the truth away from their theological box.

When they reject me for asking, pondering, dissecting, and chewing on scripture to see if it’s truly what *I* believe or if it’s just what they tell me to believe, why does it hurt so much?

When I hold out in faith, for the hope that forgiveness will really reach down deep and grace will embrace so steadfastly to those I once doubted were ‘saved’, why does my hope in God offend them so? Why do they want to let go of such a long held friendship when I want to believe that God’s grace really does much more than we can even imagine?

Why is it that when I place my hope so deeply in my Savior to redeem the lost that these who were once so close think my hope is “of the devil”?

Do they view me as if I am the devil?

Years go by and as my children remember them and speak of them fondly, I can feel my heart healing. I can hear their names and no longer weep. I hold my head high and realize I can move forward with new friends and pave my way through this life while embracing those memories in love..and then I see them..and they ignore me again. I see them on Facebook and they befriend my other online friends, but they still won’t have anything to do with me. And the pain comes back to haunt me again.

What did I do that was so wrong?

I remember asking..what did I do? How have I hurt you? To which I got no reply. No opportunity to reconcile.

No idea what I did…except that I no longer abide in the same theological box.

I left the notion that God can’t forgive my dad. That he hates him and is torturing him forever..all because he didn’t recite a specific prayer. All because he didn’t follow a theological box. All because he didn’t “get it”. I choose to believe in my great God and in the power of his grace to save. I forsake the idea that he cries at night, writhing in pain.

The offense of the cross, that finished work. The salvation that saves us even from our ignorance, our lack of theological education, the weakness of not knowing how to believe. Believe? But what does that mean and how do I know I have believed enough to be saved?

The hope in Him who saves us from even ourselves.

The knowledge and peace he brings to show us that we don’t have to measure our belief or our trust, because he IS our hope and our trust.

An odd exchange wouldn’t you say?

To have confidence in my hope that my daddy was reconciled in exchange for my friends rejecting me for such a hope.

Had I lived my life believing he was in hell, I would still have my friends.

Yes, an odd exchange it is.

The pain of ‘hearing’ my daddy screaming in my mind every night, while he burns forever in that torturous flame..or the phantom pain of losing fellowship with friends.

Maybe they weren’t really friends..but that doesn’t change how much I love them and how much it hurts that they reject me still.

But it’s not just about my daddy. It’s about my God.

Some have said, “I’m sorry, Lisa..but God just isn’t that forgiving.”

One day… there will be glad rejoicing over there… and my tears will shed as I see their faces light up for joy that their loved ones were really reconciled too.

Then we’ll have an eternity of friendship.

Some day all heart ache will be gone

Some day he’ll come to claim us all

Sorrow will be over, every tear drop wiped away.

So when it hurts so bad you can hardly stand

Just remember..

It will all be over some day.

worship by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Sisterlisa


Biblical argument for Gays

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Friends Tagged With: , , , , ,

Hell Cries at Night

October 10, 2010 by 7 Comments
Do you ever lay in bed at night in the silence of the darkness and tears stream out of your closed eyelids and trickle down your cheek? Then your nose starts running a little and you sniffle..and your husband asks, “What’s wrong?” and you saying quietly..”Nothing” But in your mind and heart you are sobbing..because your mind is racing with ‘what ifs’.. the ‘what ifs’ that would get you totally cut off from the people you love if you were to speak these ‘what ifs’ out loud.
Do you live in frustration that you can’t express how you really feel or what you truly believe or even over the things you question…about your religion. Will my friends shut me off if they knew I questioned a doctrine, or the reality of who the pastor really is when I saw him…do something when no one else saw? What if they don’t believe me? What if he denies it and calls me liar?
Since I already believe in Jesus and that He reconciled us to Father, then why does it matter if I question many of these other traditional teachings? (whispering) I know… I know why… people are generally afraid..but I discovered that many of them feel the same way. And we live in fear of being judged and labeled as ‘rebellious’ but we aren’t…we just have questions. Questions that scream out of our heads late at night as we lay there trying to sound like we’re sleeping..because what if our spouse is like they are…what if he gets mad that we question things? So the tears flow out of my closed eyelids and stream down my cheeks…and all I can do is ask Him..”God? WHO are you?”
And I quietly sob deep deep down and my throat feels like it’s swelling shut as my heart feels like it’s being ripped in half as I want to scream out “Do you really hate my daddy and is he REALLY in a torment for ever and ever?” and the tears flow so fast that I feel like Alice drowning in my own tears and in my mind I scream at Him with desperation in my soul…”WHO ARE YOU?!” and my body shakes as I try to keep my sobs muffled in bed..late at night as I think of my daddy…and Father gently asks me..”Who do YOU say that I am?” and I cry out through sobs..”YOU ARE AGAPE!”
And He says..”Then look for Agape” and I sob again… imagining my daddy screaming and crying forever and ever because someone told him lies about God and he rejected the ‘God’ that was introduced to him. Father caresses my soul and says, “Do you think I failed to reach your daddy?”

I catch my breath and try to breathe slowly as I listen to Him… and I muster up the courage to reply, “no, my Lord.. you never fail.” and He says, “Agape never fails”. I then cry out, “I love you God…” and I sob uncontrollably as I ‘see’ my daddy seated in the heavenly places, just like I am. And Father reminds me of His greatness..He is so powerful that He can reach His creation with His love and His love is so amazingly powerful, who can stand up in the face of such love? 

And He gently brings to my awareness..that not everyone truly believes in His greatness anymore. He shares with me that so many people who say they believe, actually believe the adversary’s power is just about equal to His….that people think God fails to save billions of His own creation. But I know my God is much bigger than humans imagine He is. And tonight I rest my head, knowing who God is to me. And understanding that I will lose many friends when they find out how I feel. I don’t have all the answers to the questions, but I know there are enough verses and whole passages in the Bible to give me Hope. I’d rather hope and believe that God is much bigger than humans think He is, than to believe He is less than, God never fails.

{1 Corinthians 15:22} “As in Adam ALL die, so In Christ shall ALL be made alive.”

clouds by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Sisterlisa


Biblical argument for Gays

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Grace, Inquisition Tagged With: , , , , , , ,