I feel a breaking going on in my soul and it all begins with a thought. A breaking down of a stronghold that has been planted in my mind. It has been like being under a dark cloud which manifested through words..words can impact people for good or for bad. There’s an area of my life, a skill and a passion, that was cast down through negative words spoken to me. Words of doubt were hurled at me and some sank in deep, the ones that came from someone I love. These are the worst kinds of dark clouds…when someone we love condemns us and doesn’t believe in us. When a stranger says negative things it doesn’t affect us as bad, but when someone you love waters that bad seed…it’s crushing.
“You’re beliefs about God are why you aren’t succeeding in your passion. Even worse that you vocalized your beliefs to others.”
That hurt…deeply. Not only do words like this hurt my passion..but it hurts my thoughts about me. These words are condemning and most likely the one who said it has no idea how it affected me.
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This skill and passion I have hasn’t left me, but it has remained buried..stifled..and has left me discouraged for far too long. This week I began giving thanks for this skill and passion. I love this part of who I am! I am mustering up the strength to kick back those discouraging seeds of doubt and reject their implantation in my mind and heart. They don’t belong in me..they don’t fit in..because Christ is within and he doesn’t doubt me for a second!
The more I thank Him for this skill and passion, the more encouraged I become to nurture this within me. The more I believe in myself and my vision, the more I want to sharpen the skill and deepen the passion. I see a glimmer of hope now and I’m choosing to be patient with myself and my vision. No one has a vision become a reality over night. It takes time, diligence, and love.
- I began with acknowledging the birth of this particular thing in me.
- I accept that it is a gift given to me.
- I vocalize my thankfulness for this gift.
- I apply my belief in this gift by stepping forward in nurturing it.
No matter what negative things people say about me or my vision, it is a gift given to ME, not to them.
My vision and passion is not dependent on what they think, it’s dependent on what I think and how I take each step into building it up.
Even those who we think know us best, can still misunderstand who we are. They are not the Authority of who we are within. My Authority does not condemn me, He lives within me. Only He can accurately define me…He is the Author and Finisher of my faith and my identity. Beautiful, wonderful, passionate, and creative. And why shouldn’t I be creative? Creativity is a part of who He is within me and his creativity is bound to come shining through.
As far as my beliefs about how amazing he is… how utterly forgiving he is..and amazingly gracious he is…if that upsets people and it causes them to withdraw from my life then they don’t need to be a part of my skill and passion. I wipe the dust from my feet and walk forward in faith.
He who began a good work (skill and passion) in me, will perform it to his Appointed Day!
Other people’s doubt in me and my God have no bearing on what He is doing in my life and I refuse to allow their words to be a dark cloud anymore. Christ is my cloud by day to keep me cool and my fire by night to keep me warm.
It’s long been said the magic words are, “Please may I?” But I’m thinking there’s more power in gratitude…and so I say the magic words… thank you, thank you, thank you.
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