Spiritual Abuse Awareness Week

March 21, 2013 by Leave a Comment

My friend Joy is hosting a link up for you to share your stories of spiritual abuse. Although we have January set aside as Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month, ANY time of year is just fine for raising awareness. In our effort to raise awareness, we aim to see the congregations become healthier. It’s not an opportunity just to bash those we have ill feelings toward, no matter the amount of abuse. The point is not to abuse back, but rather to inspire and promote healing and growth. We want to see healthier relationships.

My story of spiritual abuse is a 15 year trek of my life (plus 2 more years of hard core sorting-out-of-my-baggage) and is found throughout this blog. However, in this post I simply want to address the questions Joy posed in her post.

How has your experience affected you? Although my experience has left me with a deep amount of pain and betrayal, I learned a lot by going through the toxicity. I’ve always been hopeful that any negative experience I go through could be used to help someone else. So I turned my pain around and began the Spiritual Abuse Awareness page on Facebook and have written about it extensively here on my blog, our Spiritual Abuse Awareness blog, and as a guest blogger at Quivering Daughters. The overall experience left me feeling beaten down, feeling worthless, in deep depression, and incredibly alone.

What has it done to you emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, etc.? The toxicity of spiritual abuse affected me in several areas. In this post I share a video of a pastor interviewing me about spiritual abuse as well as a link to a study I wrote on the physical affects spiritual abuse does to a victim.

What has your journey been like? My journey to healing and freedom has been a long and arduous one. The thought of writing it all out again in one blog post for this link up leaves me feeling exhausted. I read a lot about spiritual abuse and keep as up to date as possible with the new stories being published online every day. My heart aches for the many victims out there and I do my best to comment wherever I see the topic come up in an effort to simply offer a ‘hand’ and say “You’re not alone.” But the topic is so overwhelming that I usually end up in a depressed state over the few days following anything I read. I have had to take breaks from it all so I can focus on the good things in life.

How have you gotten where you are today? By pushing through it with all my strength. By having the support of the other survivors. By unpacking my toxic baggage and cleaning house in my mind and heart. By blogging about my journey.

Do you feel you’ve healed? I do feel that I’ve healed in a lot of ways, but spiritual, emotional, and mental scar tissue still hurts from time to time.

What do you still struggle with? Currently, the thing I struggle with are some people who pushed me away when I began blogging about spiritual abuse. These people who have been either uninterested in my story, afraid to face the truth of my story (and others like mine), who have ‘rebuked’ victims and survivors for speaking up…only to see them finally admit it but yet STILL ignore those of us who had the courage to speak up about it before they did. To see them garner positive attention for speaking up, but not acknowledging that they too have spiritually abused others along the way. This is still yet another form of spiritual abuse that they perpetuate.

     ”I can’t link to HER story. She doesn’t believe the ‘gospel’ the same way I do.”

     ”I can’t acknowledge HIS story, he’s an atheist now.”

     ”If I link to her story or his story, I could lose my blog following.”

     ”I can’t admit that I’ve been abusive too.”

Well, yes you can! You see, spiritual abuse victims HAVE been spiritually abusive before. Because that’s what we were programmed to do. If we fail to tell this truth then we fail to really teach what spiritual abuse does to people. Spiritual Abuse is a very twisted toxicity that plagues the mind, soul, and affects the body. It alters our thinking, our emotions, and our health suffers. That is bound to manifest in our words and actions (or lack thereof). Sometimes the lack of support or speaking up in an effort to protect victims or halt the abuse IS abusive.

Silence furthers the abuse.

We would still be in denial if we attempt to claim that we’ve only been victims and never been abusive in some degree. Part of healing is admitting all of the awful truth..if not to a group of people, closest family, or even a therapist..at least to ourselves.

Confession is good for the soul. Even if that confession is just between us and God. Then the true healing can begin.

I know that Rachel and Joy understand spiritual abuse, although I’m not sure how in depth they have suffered. However, they have a large audience and I’m thankful they have dedicated their blog space to raise awareness of this very important problem. I know the depth of my experience and that of several others, whose stories made national news. Just when you think you’ve heard the worst, trust me…there are even worse stories out there.

Many of us can spot spiritual abuse in it’s beginning stages, whereas others might not recognize it until a teenager gets raped or molested. Sadly, some still don’t recognize it even in the face of undeniable evidence.

But don’t let that stop you from speaking up, becoming more aware, and offering support to the millions out there who still suffer in silence.

Please join our Facebook page for more support. You’re not alone.

Related Articles:

When it’s your former church that hits the headlines

Spiritual Hostage Syndrome

sisterlisa

Filed Under: Church Culture, Spiritual Abuse Tagged With:

Hellbound? the movie *review*

October 1, 2012 by 3 Comments

I have long anticipated the release of the film, Hellbound? To open the conversation, the title ends with a question mark. In my opinion, this film is not intended to prove the existence or non existence of hell as a literal place of conscious eternal torment, but rather to allow for the conversation to take place. When Martin Luther left the Catholic Church, he didn’t have the sum of all doctrines perfectly lined up and many theologians have questioned, wrestled with, and interpreted the Bible for ages.

Catholic stained glass windows by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

What I took from this film was the idea that we can have this conversation and should be able to without fear of reprisal. Just as scientists have been ‘outlawed’ from teaching Intelligent Design (as we saw in the film ‘Expelled’), many Christians are being ‘outlawed’ from questioning interpretations of the bible. Many pastors will boldly say, “Don’t believe me, look in the bible and make up your own mind.” But I don’t think they really want us to.

This film shows us that theologians from various belief communities have allowed plenty of space for their theologians to have differing views, and shows that others do not. Some, such as Mark Driscoll, firmly announces (in this film) that he won’t partner with anyone outside his own boundaries of belief. As much as I disagree with Driscoll on many areas (like his views on ‘biblical’ sex) I have to give him some kudos for being brave enough to appear in this film. And while I greatly disagree with how Margie Phelps interprets the bible, I have to say that she stands for what she believes in, unashamed! She appears in this film, as Kevin approaches her during a protest against gays. He asks her thought provoking questions and speaks to her with grace and respect, while she speaks to him with a spirit of condemnation. Of all the Christians I have seen, heard, and read of; I have to say that she is the only person who truly believes in hell.

When I watched this film and saw the various representatives of Christian circles speak about hell, it gave me an opportunity to really think deeper on how this doctrine affects people. Watching Kirk Cameron’s friend, Ray Comfort, publicly condemn and belittle a man for not living up to the ten commandments was disturbing to me. Even with the amount of hate that comes from Margie Phelps, the abuse the passer-by endured by Ray Comfort left me deeply sad and baffled. I’ve seen plenty of videos put out by Ray Comfort, but what Hellbound? showed of his encounter with a man, in my town, infuriated me. If Ray really believes in the fury of hell, he hasn’t seen anything until he tries that in my presence.

At one point there is a comparison between three schools of thought;

  • Universalism
  • Annhialationism
  • Eternal Torment

This was an overall theme throughout the film, but I’m not so sure it adequately encompasses the conversation about how hell is translated into our English language and how the traditions have passed it down through the generations. There is so much more to the conversation and while I know the film wasn’t meant to give an answer, it does do it’s job in opening the conversation a bit wider.

It has become popular for Christians to begin questioning traditional teachings and delve into translating Hebrew and Greek on our own. In the days of Martin Luther, this was unheard of. Especially among women. It was refreshing to see the filmmakers include women in this documentary.

But here’s the bottom line, we are free in Christ to be like the Bereans and question everything to see if what we’ve been traditionally handed is truth or not. I suppose the question isn’t so much about hell as it is about our religious leaders and if they can be mature, loving, and gracious enough to allow people to have the room they need to check for themselves. Can today’s religious leaders grow a bit more to allow themselves to be wrong, even slightly? Can we have this discussion without being persecuted by the churches?

Could it be that tens of thousands of religious leaders have not really studied on their own and simply taken traditional teachings as truth without exploring on their own? Have they done their proper duty to study and show themselves approved unto God, workmen (and women) who need not be ashamed?

As one preacher mentioned, no matter what direction you go with this topic, take it slowly. Study and pray. Don’t rush into a belief without taking serious consideration to what you are exploring and what you will face in the light of your discoveries.

I recommend this film to anyone who has questions about hell, but mostly I recommend this film for anyone who has considered (or already has) thought outside the box.

Sometimes people get handed a blurry image of God and it’s okay to double check your vision and look again. There’s so much more I could say, so if you have any questions or would like to have me expound more about the film, simply comment below.

Other reviews on Hellbound?

Theological Scribbles

Gary Goldstein at The LA Times

Travis Loller at The Huffington Post

Nick Pinkerton at The Village Voice

John Shore at The Huffington Post (Religion)

Dan Brockway at Full Color Faith

 

Sisterlisa


American Christians Can’t Claim Persecution

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Church Culture, Inquisition

When it’s YOUR former church that makes headlines

August 31, 2012 by 2 Comments

It was an interesting week on Facebook since a passer-by snapped a pic of this church sign in my former community.

I promise you it’s not Photoshopped. It’s ambiguous, since there is no evidence of any candidate being a non-American. All we have to go on is the ongoing gossip about President Obama not being an American by birth. It is interesting to note that this particular church hears anti-gossip sermons on a regular basis and every year this church has a special event called “Honoring our Heroes” when they invite all government personnel to join them for service and a free lunch. The pastor, Tim Ruhl, has preached numerous times about how we are to respect the office of the Presidency and I have heard him ask for prayer for the President many times. I’ve also heard him preach about how his church has the “right bible” and how important he believes it is that people become members of churches that meet his qualifications of a church.

This pastor preaches about the importance of 

  • The King James Bible
  • Soul-winning (door knocking)
  • Faithful church attendance
  • Church membership
  • Tithing
  • Baptism
  • Being a Baptist
  • and the list goes on.

During the years of preaching, the members are also lead to believe that if you leave “the house of God” (meaning the IFB), then you run the risk of your children dying, your spouse cheating, getting addicted to drugs, and so on. So it stands to reason that he should be, by all his qualifications on being a good Christian, voting for an IFB pastor to be president. Since we know assume the pastor is a Republican (and much of his church), then it is up to us to assume his sign meant to not vote for Obama, and the only other choice in their Republican voting guide is a Mormon. (BTW, this church regularly hands out Republican voting guides before all elections).

  • Mormon’s believe in the King James Bible
  • They go door knocking
  • Faithful church attendance
  • Church membership
  • Tithing
  • Baptism

oh but they aren’t Baptists.

Well, I’m left wondering if they’re going to vote for Ron Paul. I doubt it.

Nevertheless, the media picked up on the image of the sign and went to investigate. One thing about the ChicoER is they don’t keep these articles posted for long, so I’m going to pull some quotes from it so we can keep it here. When asked if the sign was referring to Obama…

“Tim Ruhl, the church’s pastor, wouldn’t say, when the Enterprise-Record asked him Monday.

“You can take it a thousand ways,” he said, adding that it could mean “vote for the American way.”

Some people took it to be a recommendation to vote for Mitt Romney instead of President Obama — a reference to the notion that Obama was born outside America and is not actually an American.

Asked if the sign referred to Obama, Ruhl replied, “Thank you, sir,” and indicated the phone conversation was over.”

The journalist interviewed two other long standing pastors of the community about the sign, to which they were both disappointed. They know this kind of move is a huge risk for churches.  The article goes on to say;

“Pastor Ruhl told the E-R a new message is put up every week on the church’s sign. He said the “Vote for the American!” message was removed after a week.

Asked if the church had gotten any comments on the message, he said, “a couple.”

Ruhl said the church did not want to offend anyone and that he was sorry if some found the message offensive.”

I find this article and his responses very interesting. And in this video at just about 3 minutes in he begins talking about reasons to have a bad day and he says,

“your president being re-elected.”

First of all, this pastor shouts vehemently about standing firm for that you believe in. If he practiced what he preaches he would have been honest about the sign. In this church, nothing happens without the almighty “Pastor Ruhl Approval”. So regardless of whether or not the words on the sign might have been someone else’s idea (an assumption by some), nothing gets on that sign without his approval. So why not just state his beliefs honestly? Why hide behind..

“You can take it a thousand ways,” he said, adding that it could mean “vote for the American way.” ?

He also has a 20 year history of preaching offensive things and has frequently said that people are offended at his videos to which he tells them,

“If you don’t like it, don’t watch.”

His preaching style is uncannily similar to that of his mentor, Dr. Jack Hyles. Dr. Hyles was the former pastor at First Baptist Church of Hammond, where his son-in-law, Jack Schaap, was dismissed from his pastorate for violating a young girl. Tim Ruhl and Jack Schaap both were taught and mentored by Dr. Jack Hyles. I’ve seen both Jack Hyles and Jack Schaap preach in person. It’s like watching Tim Ruhl all over again.

I’ve seen these three men (and several others from among the IFB) preach til spit came from their mouths, punching their pulpits til the wood gave way, and stomp their feet like Billy Sunday.

In a video, I saw Tim Ruhl make mention of ‘things” happening in other IFB churches and while expressing his disappointment as appropriately as possible, in the same breath, he says, “Not all Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches are like that.” Except, his has suffered from inappropriate behavior by former assistant pastors, including his own son, Jesse Ruhl. (at Minutes 10-13 http://vimeo.com/48053212)

I’m sure some of you might wonder if I’m ecstatic about these indiscretions, to which I can shout from the roof tops, “Absolutely not!” You see, while I believe it’s all a part of God’s plan to reveal the “Elis” of today’s world, it is never enjoyable to hear that young girls are being violated.  It is never a celebration to hear that there are wives who are suffering the pain of spousal betrayal. These are all terribly painful situations to go through. However, it is in the church and community’s best interest that these things be revealed so people can make wise decisions about surrendering their children into ministries who are being sued for not handling molestation according to State requirements.

Not many church members know what to do when they hear of indiscretions in the church. It makes it even more difficult when they are living in a spiritually abusive environment and possibly suffering Spiritual Hostage Syndrome. Many times, the average church member who leaves and speaks up is accused of being bitter and divisive, but when Jack Hyles’ own daughter, Linda, spoke out, people started listening more intently. I watched her video and I can feel the hesitation of her disclosing such eye opening information. Her story affirmed what I, and millions of others, have lived through in the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement.

I received a letter today from someone from my former church. I believe his heart is deeply sincere and as he petitioned me for specifics about why we left. I thought about what Linda said and the courage it took for her to speak about it on such a public venue. I sent this gentleman a video of me being interviewed by a former IFB pastor who now goes by “The Unconventional Pastor”, Bob Greaves. In the video he asks me about specifics that my family and I experienced and I declined giving details about our story, but rather chose to discuss experiences many people go through in an assortment of churches world wide.

I can understand why this young man is asking me for our specific story. Especially given the amount of passion I have in protecting people from abusive churches. I’m sure people have wondered,

“Wow! What in the world did Sisterlisa go through in that place for it to have upset her so much?”

You see, my story is not only mine. It is also my husband’s, my three daughters’, and my son’s. We have all had difficult situations in the IFB movement. We arrived in that church when we only had 2 children and our lives were an absolute mess. We had come out of a drug lifestyle and for a long while my husband hadn’t left that ‘world’ when I did. We struggled immensely. I was resigned to sign up for welfare just to survive.  Over the years, I remained fiercely loyal to the church, the pastor, and his teachings. After my husband graduated from a recovery home, we both continued in the church with utmost vigilance. The church would often have promotions to give away free scholarships to their school for whoever brought the most visitors in a 6 week period, of which we won a couple of times. We were ardent soul-winners, pleading with everyone we knew in the community to come to the church. The structure of the program kept us out of trouble and we moved further and further away from that ol’ unhealthy lifestyle.

Over the years we began noticing things that we could no longer remain quiet on. The inconsistencies in the interpreting of the scriptures and the brazen behavior of leadership lead us to question deeper and deeper. I began looking back over the years we were there and remembering things that happened that I had not understood at the time. These memories started to make sense to me. It was then that I discovered something troubling, at the inquisitive heart of a wonderful deaf women who also attended the church. Together, she and I began digging deeper into the connections the leadership had with other organizations and the people they were doing business with.  I searched the county courthouse records and found more troubling information that we, as church members, had not been privy to.

Then our children began to share concerns with us that we simply could not ignore. All of our children had suffered from mistreatment by other kids (I know..kids will be kids), but we knew we had to be our children’s advocates. We attempted going to leadership, but we found it only made matters worse for our children. The oldest two were pressured continually about giving more money to the church, living up to unbelievable standards, and a host of other things that I do not have their permission to tell you. We had to face the idea of possibly calling the police, but decided it would be best at that point to simply begin distancing ourselves.

We began missing church services a little at a time before we finally decided enough was enough and it was time to never go back. I know I’m still being vague here, but you have to understand that this is not just my story. I share it with 5 other lives who do not want to be so open about their pain. I want to respect that. For those who think we didn’t have a good enough reason to leave, it really isn’t your business what deep pain and trauma our family went through. We describe our pain as a betrayal. The depth of that betrayal is our own business. We trusted the pastor like a dad. We adored him and his family. We still have a Christian love for them and we pray they will someday be free from the bondage they have themselves in with their legalistic rules and religious piety.

It grieves me deeply to hear of two teen girls, whom I adore, being taken advantage of. It grieves me that wives were faced with such tragedy and betrayal against themselves. It breaks my heart to see the pastor’s wife have to face what her own son has done. I pray for them to heal and discover what true grace really is. I pray they’ll  learn the importance of owning up instead of sweeping under the rug. Confession is good for the soul. Perhaps they’re afraid to be judged by the people. I know what that’s like. My husband and I were transparent about our former drug life and our very public testimony has always been looked down upon in the eyes of many people in that place. I know, because so many of them told me to my face.

Sometimes churches can be some of the toughest environments to be in.

Once we left, a few people inquired about why we left. We tried to be vague, but they were insistent. We shared a few things and sent a generic email to a few people about us leaving, but were met with hostility from church members. And even though we had officially withdrawn from the church roster, my husband got called to the pastor’s office. He took another local pastor with him (Ruhl didn’t know he was a pastor) and he was asked not to contact anyone from “his” church. There was much said in that office visit and that was the end of our communication with him.

Until about a year later when another ministry we were involved with began having deep difficulties with legalities that we couldn’t overlook. It was then that he got involved and supported those who were taking advantage of us, the clients, and the trust given to them from the community. It was a double betrayal. Those few years were incredibly stressful for our family and while we tried to move on, we were constantly met with hostile emails, intrusions on Facebook, assaulting comments on my blog, and uncomfortable encounters in public places. All by church members.

Even of those who knew some of this mess in detail, we did not gain any support from any of them. There was one or two people who remained friends with us, but refused to hear out our story and they remained faithful to their pastor even though they knew what was going on.

Rumors spread throughout the community about our family and it made it very difficult to move on. We did find support from other local pastors and that was comforting. One pastor said this to me,

“If only I could tell you just how many people have come to me for counseling after leaving that same church. You’re not alone.”

We did the best we could to pick ourselves up and move on. I dumped my old blog and started fresh with this one, yet harassment always seemed to find a way back to me. I’ve blocked several people on Facebook to avoid confrontations, only to see them open new accounts and intrude on my conversations again. I had to tighten my account numerous times and weed them out. It’s been four years and I still see them opening new accounts. I don’t frequent their walls with hostile remarks against them, but they always seem to find mine to dish out their latest disapproval for me, my husband, and our new life in Christ.

I do admit that when the IFB movement hits the news time and time again, I do speak up about it. Why? For the same reason good Catholics speak up about abusive priests. People need to know what abuse looks like in the church in order to Protect themselves and their children. Pretending the abuse doesn’t happen, doesn’t stop it from happening. It is of great concern to me that so many IFB pastors will assist one another when their family members violate children. Several have hushed the victims and their families into silence while allowing molesters to go free and serve in other IFB churches. They shift these men from one place to another, whisk many of the victims off to other churches (especially if their rapist got them pregnant)

I understand the desire to move on after making mistakes. My husband and I made mistakes early in life too. We owned up to our mistakes and faced them head on. We did what we needed to do to make peace with law enforcement and with our community. We turned around and gave our lives to assisting others with getting out of the drug lifestyle…for twelve years. Now we want to move on also. But when do the victims get to move on? When will these victims be able to speak about their stories, their pain, and how their truth has been silenced in order to protect the men who violated them? Assuming they want to… but will they be safe in doing so? Will they be met with the same hostility we faced? What kind of life is it to have to face the fact that someday people might mistreat these girls? I understand the fear of speaking up, especially if the parents keep these girls in those churches.

I would like to see the victims, including the wives who suffered betrayal, be able to move on. We can pray that law enforcement can put a stop to this unnecessary, and unethical way of handling abuse in their churches. But chances are these pastors will continue to do as they always have, therefore it’s up to us, the CHURCH, to speak out boldly and teach others how to avoid abusive leaders.

After 15 years in the IFB movement, it is my opinion that these pastors are unwise in handling the delicate lives of God’s little ones. This isn’t something we can just forget about and move on as if nothing happened. While they think their stories are totally unrelated, we know better.

There are many more victims of the IFB who haven’t come forward yet.

When will you speak up?

You can leave your review of the church on Google here. Others have.. (I promise I wasn’t the one who put that church sign photo on there. But it did get a chuckle out of me when I saw it.)

 

Sisterlisa


American Christians Can’t Claim Persecution

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Spiritual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Spiritual Hostage Syndrome

August 25, 2012 by 4 Comments

I was given the honor of being featured in an interview with Bob Greaves, also known as The Unconventional Pastor. He is a former IFB pastor through the camp of BJU and I am a former member of an IFB church through the camp of Hyles. Bob and I have developed a sweet friendship over the past couple of years and he has been an incredible encouragement to me. In the following interview I spoke of a paper I wrote titled, “Spiritual Hostage Syndrome” and how it affects the mind, body, and soul. The paper is available to view here. If you have any questions about the paper or the interview please leave a comment below.

SisterLisa

Related Articles:

Is the IFB a Cult?

IFB Cult Survivors

When Your Former Church Makes Headlines

Filed Under: Spiritual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Hellbound

August 18, 2012 by 3 Comments

It’s the traditional teaching of many of the 30,000+ denominations of Christianity in our world today, yet not a belief that is held by all Christians. In my interactions with my pagan neighbors, I discovered Christianity isn’t the only religion in the world who believes in some form of hell.

But should this even matter in the grand scope of Christ’s finished work?

In my earlier years of religious study in fundamentalism, hell was a major factor of doctrine. At the same time, I was taught ‘once saved, always saved’. So to me, hell wasn’t really an issue since I had faith in Christ. They teach you that once you believe in Christ by faith, that you absolutely will never go to hell. It didn’t need to be a concern for us as believers. However, it was still a concern if your loved ones and neighbors were on the road to hell.

I had to come to the place where I was going to trust God with whatever plan he had for humanity and follow his teaching of ‘love your neighbors as yourself’, regardless of what version of hell people did or didn’t believe in.

So does hell matter in the Christian tradition?

From the description on the website Hellbound? the Movie, we see a variety of perspectives from all sorts of spiritual leaders. My husband and I have studied diligently and can see how each denomination comes to their individual conclusions. We understand. However, we also take into consideration the testing of interpretations by measuring them against the fruit of the spirit (faith) and the works of the flesh (doubt).

It’s very important to understand many things when studying the bible from the era the writers lived in, their culture, the message from God for each of those generations, and how we grow or weaken based on those teachings.

When a teaching puts us in bondage to fear, worry, doubt, panic, restlessness, and anger then we would be wise to reconsider the teaching. However, that is not to say that we should totally disregard the passages, but rather look at them again and see if there is a different message than what we were previously taught.  If there is a different perspective then we should look for it. We should be better stewards with the scriptures than what we had been in previous generations. One no longer has to spend an outrageous amount of money to attend a seminary. We have a lot more free resources now and better ways of communicating than ever before. There is no longer an excuse to not study for ourselves.

Take the following questions and paste them into Word or on your blog and prayerfully answer them. Avoid trying to answer them with the scripted responses your church tradition has taught you. Answer them from the depths of your heart. From the place where you are truly you. Consider providing examples from your own journey. Avoid yes or no answers. Please give thoughtful soul widening responses.

  1. In the long run, how does the teaching of hell affect our lives?
  2. How has Christianity become complacent towards their fellow man, because their salvation is secure and have nothing to worry about?
  3. How satisfied are we with our evangelism efforts if our neighbors might burn in hell for all eternity?
  4. How often have we felt like evangelistic failures when our loved ones refuse to accept Christ, no matter how much we beg them, and they die not ever proclaiming faith in Christ? How does this affect us?
  5. How do we carry the weight of their lost soul for the rest of our lives?
  6. What kind of ‘accountability’ is there toward us when we face God?
  7. How will we feel if their blood really is placed on our hands?
  8. What sort of experience will we go through when we see them cast into the lake of fire right before our eyes before we get to walk through the pearly gates? What kind of rejoicing will we partake in after witnessing that?

This doesn’t sound like a very encouraging scenario nor does it sound anything like the abundant life Christ is said to have brought us into.

So I’ve gone back to the scriptures to see where we, as Christ followers, should find our foundation in this very important discussion.

  • If Christ has paid for the condition of sin once and for all, then why do I have to live in constant worry for others?
  • I thought faith in Christ ‘saved me from hell’ and if I’m saved from hell then why must I continue to fear hell?

This doesn’t sound like a ‘saving to the uttermost’ to me. Even the scriptures say that anything of fear is not of faith.

  • So do we really have total, absolute, faith in Christ and his finished work or not?
  • If we’re saved from hell then why must hell be the focus to get us to Christ and to living a Christ-like life?
  • I thought Paul said the Law (the former schoolmaster) was what led us to realize our need for Christ.

Isn’t a life in Christ supposed to be about love, faith, and grace? He said we would be safely grazing beside the rivers of life, well protected, and peaceful.

But this doctrine of literal eternal torment is anything but peaceful.

If we really believed in this literal hell, then why haven’t Christians all over the world given up everything in their lives to walk the highways and bi-ways of life and tell every single person out there about this hell and how to avoid it?

Maybe we have this inward voice asking us, “What if I’m wrong?” What if we are so wrong about this doctrine, what is it that we have done?

  1. Terrorized our neighbors with a make believe horror story with them as the star of the story?
  2. Disrupted any amount of peace they had in their lives with an image that causes nightmares?
  3. Created such a fear that near death experiences become more traumatic than the illness they already suffer?
  4. Sent people into severe depression when their loved ones die before the preacher can get to their house to explain the bible?
  5. Divided entire families due to the forceful begging and pleading to get them to recite a prayer and go to church with you?
  6. Isolated people in their churches and homes, afraid to live life to the fullest?
  7. Cause doubt of their own standing with God if they didn’t ‘get saved right’ or put enough faith in Christ to actually save them?

It seems to me that this is not the Kingdom in which Christ established for us.

  • Why would he die and resurrect only to bring us into such an awful place of worry, depression, and doubt?
  • How can we possibly trust him with our own salvation and believe that he will make us watch our loved ones get tossed in the lake of fire?
  • What kind of groom is that?

If something scary flashes on the TV screen, my husband covers my eyes for me, to protect me. Don’t we do the same for our children? But it is a popular belief that Jesus will make you watch your loved ones be thrown into everlasting torture. Many years ago, barbarians would force husbands to watch as they tortured their wives and children. They would force the wives and children to watch as they tortured daddy. This was equally torturous for the entire family. Is this really who God is?

Maybe this movie, Hellbound?, will help us to re-examine this teaching and broaden our own hope in Christ to a place where we can truly say, “Jesus is the Savior of the World”. Or perhaps it will solidify the belief of hell and we’ll all quit living our own enjoyable lives and start relentlessly banging down the doors of everyone in our towns.

If you decide to answer all the questions on your own blog, please come back and comment. Give us the link to the post so we can come read your thoughts on this controversial, but much needed discussion.

Sisterlisa

Biblical argument for Gays

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Inquisition Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

I’m So Sorry

August 16, 2012 by 2 Comments

Do you ever wonder what it would have been like to have been a Native when the ‘white man’ came? Imagine being a young Native girl washing laundry in the creek when the ‘white man’ comes through the forest with a gun to shoot you while calling you ‘savages’. Can you imagine being an African boy who came over on a boat without his family to be a slave to a ‘white man’ only to grow up being beaten and called n*gger? The ‘white man’ sure has created themselves an awful path of destruction, even the destruction of their own congregation. It has been a long held tradition in Christianity that women are seen as a lower class and they have no authority (unless it’s in the church nursery). There were days when the pastors would burn women of their congregation if they were suspected to be witches, which they weren’t.

There’s absolutely no excuse for it.

coast by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Oh but you say that Christian men have come a long way and no longer kill Natives, enslave Africans, or burn women, but they do still lord over them as if they have ultimate authority. This is in America and it is being reported that women are being burned as witches in other countries. I suspect it has a lot to do with the literal teachings of the Old Testament by American missionaries. I’m not accusing those missionaries of killing women, but they do preach to naive people who lack the ability to study the bible for themselves and know how much humanity has evolved and matured over here in the West. Although Christians don’t kill..oh wait…yes they do..and cover it up…anyway, racism and patriarchy are very much alive in this nation. As is abuse in many Christian homes. I can’t help but to wonder if the abuse rate is down in Charismatic Christian homes, because they value the women as equal. I don’t know, I haven’t conducted the research. But this isn’t the point of this article.

What I want to get at is the history of groups of people who, through their growth, increased education, and spiritual maturity have made public apologies for the actions of their ancestors.

So to all those who have been beaten, lost loved ones, been shunned and shoved aside, and denied equality in this global community.. I, a Christian, do hereby give full apology for the actions of my ancestors. As for the current Christians who keep up this atrocity, let me say this; they are immature, uneducated, and spiritually handicapped. Just little babies who haven’t cut their teeth yet. I am still sorry that so many are suffering from the abuse that comes from their hands and their unruly tongues. They don’t represent Christ.

The GLBT community should not have to live in fear of having a commitment ceremony and celebration at a public location, because some immature Christians might come along and scream, spit, and picket their marital event.

The Pagan community should not have to live in fear of building a public spiritual community center for those cold or hot days when the park is inaccessible, because some rude and unruly Christians might come along and throw rocks at them or follow them home to vandalize their homes.

Women should not have to be afraid to speak the prophetic words from the Lord, because some Christian men (and some women) would rebuke them and call them witches. And even if they are witches, if their words are prophetic you had better listen. Don’t forget the witch at Endor was able to conjure up a Samuel the prophet who ended up rebuking King Saul.

They shouldn’t have to be afraid these things would happen, but the fact of the matter is these things DO still happen in America. Can I let you in on a little secret they don’t want you to know?

You are free! Christ does NOT hold you to the letter of the law. Jesus said the fulfillment of the law is to love. Yes, that’s it. No religious hoops to jump through at all. Want to know another secret they will hate for you to know?

His power is within you and you have every right to rebuke a self righteous abusive Christian, in Jesus’ name even.

So while I wanted to express my sorrow for what my ancestors have done, I wanted to be sure to encourage you and equip you with truth to empower you to no longer be afraid. They’re the ones who are deeply afraid. Much love to you all. Enjoy walking free.

Sisterlisa

Biblical argument for Gays

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Organic Faith, Persecution Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Church Built on Sand

August 14, 2012 by 1 Comment

When we left legalism and relearned Christ, funny thing happened. Christians didn’t understand us anymore. If we didn’t speak Christianize they automatically thought we were ‘new age’. Anytime we clarified something in the bible referred to Jesus, they would first get angry, then frustrated. They thought we were confused, but I think it’s them who had been on confusion all along. An example would be how Christians will say the Bible is the Word of God, but John 1:1 says Jesus is the Word of God. Long story short we had a difficult time finding authentic spiritual community where we could grow and not get verbally chopped to pieces if we spoke the language of this new birth.

I read a book titled, ‘Pagan Christianity’ in which author Frank Viola reveals some historical facts about buildings, rituals, and traditions which at first understanding might make some Christians run out of their buildings as fast as they can. Then after we had some time to readjust to an absolute faith walk away from tradition, my daughter and I got to experience a pagan spiritual ceremony. If you haven’t read that article, please do so! It was through that day that I had come to find value in Christian traditions once again. I realized that it’s fine to have traditions and in my spirit I knew that traditions did not reconcile me to God. I knew that reconciliation had already taken place and some traditions are symbolic ways of celebrating the finished work. Many of us already knew that Christmas Trees had pagan origin, but most Christians use it in December to celebrate what they represent to them, Christ.

sacred writings by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere

Different religions all over the world have similar or exactly the same spiritual symbols. The tree is life, the egg is fertility, the virgin is purity, and the rising sun is resurrection.  Symbols on their own are not bad, they can be quite beautiful and serve as reminders of the connection we all have with God. Even the pagan symbol of the star is a beautiful representation of the seasons God created. They celebrate Samhain and we celebrate Harvest. They celebrate Yule and we celebrate Christmas. They celebrate Ostara and we celebrate Easter..oh wait it’s the same thing…. ok so we celebrate the Resurrection. It’s what these holidays, traditions, and rituals represent that matters. It’s about spiritual growth and about walking in this life with joy. Harvest is a season of change and death to old ways. Christmas is a celebration of rest and family fellowship. Easter is the time we celebrate new birth and joyful life. Christ has already fulfilled all of these things, yet we still find great satisfaction in celebrating rituals (traditions) in honor of what he did.

I have wondered if it’s possible that God had unique ways of teaching his message to people in other countries. Why else would each spiritual community have such amazing similarities in their beliefs? I know it’s a popular belief that God was in dire need of a printing press so the bible could be printed and translated for every language in order for people to understand the version of Christianity we came to learn of (even thought it wasn’t English to begin with). Do you ever wonder why it wasn’t important to have it printed in Hebrew and Greek for every country before it was translated to English? God is much more magnificent than that! He doesn’t need an English bible in order to speak to people. Abraham didn’t have a bible, neither did Jesus. Oh yes, Jesus had the Torah, but Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob didn’t. They heard God through the spirit! Even Caleb followed God by faith when he saw the land of plenty and disregarded the giants. No big deal, it was the land of milk and honey!

Christians can be such silly people sometimes as they cower in fear if they see a pentacle, a PG-13 movie, or the next popular vampire novel on the shelves at Barnes and Noble. The Kingdom is here and by faith we get to live abundantly in it!! Why do they fear so much when the scriptures contain MANY passages about ‘fear not’ and the New Testament is filled with victory! By the power of God, we get to walk through this life as Kingdom minded citizens in full power of grace to go out and love people without fear. Caleb knew he didn’t need to fear the giants. He reached out and took hold on the promise God gave them. Will you walk in the promised Kingdom or be afraid of ‘the world’ and it’s ‘giants’?

We have heard for so long that everyone who isn’t a Christian is dirty, evil, infectious with sin and as a result they have excluded people and isolated themselves in their little bubbles. They are like the others who refused to go into the promised land because they were afraid. Peter told a story of the vision God gave him about the people and said do NOT call them unclean. God had cleansed them!

According to the bible, God created all of mankind. Through Christ we finally see that we are all children of God. Equally loved no matter what the differences. When you begin relationships with love you have the foundation of Christ. There’s no way to build on a foundation of fear. In fact the word ‘fear’ is an oxymoron to the words ‘build and foundation’. Trying to do so will only fall down in a storm.

My husband and I served in rescue ministry for many years among addicts, tattoo laden, facial piercings, court appearances, prison visits, and more. While many would pat us on the back for doing so, they cowered in fear and refused to come join us in loving those people. They missed out on a HUGE blessing. Those folks taught me so much about love, grace, and mercy. It was a missionary experience I’ll never forget. Imagine going to a foreign field, would you hide in your little huts in fear of them killing you? Would you throw stones at them out your window and condemn them to hell when they walked by? I guess if you treat people like CRAP, then it would be understandable why you fear them so much.

Therein is found the truth of the matter. A god and his followers who condemns, hates, throws stones, and mistreats people would certainly be afraid of the people they attack. Isn’t that how it always is with a bully? They’re really just fearful people who try to defend themselves by attacking others. This is a faulty way to live your life. In fact it’s not living, it’s dying. They go through this time and space …dying.

Now that I have laid down the foundation for this topic I will get to the nitty gritty.

This is America. The land of the free! We have the blessing of freedom of religion. The state (Constitution) is not allowed to sanction or reject a religion as a government body. The people get to decide what they will believe or not believe. This is an amazing gift since so many other countries don’t offer us this choice. There was a time when the Catholic Church would persecute anyone who left, questioned, or rebuked the church and it’s teachings. Then came a time when the Protestants (who protested that tyranny) began doing the same thing. Some Protestant leaders actually burned women and falsely accused them as witches. If there were real witches in their towns they never would have been able to burn them, because they would not have submitted themselves to arrogant tyrannical men.

Christians who are familiar with the persecution of their spiritual ancestors under the authority of Nero will tell you how great they suffered. But today’s Christians in American don’t really understand persecution. Oh yes, they get upset when people boycott Chick-fil-A, or when public schools deny religious activity in the school day, but this isn’t real persecution. Those Christians do no live in fear of saying they are Christians. They don’t have to fear for their lives.

In today’s nation of America, gays and pagans live in fear of their lives. Among those who participate in their pride days, there are many more who don’t out of fear. They have this fear because of how many ‘Christians’ have attacked them, bullied them, cussed at them, spat on them, harassed them, and even killed them. There are more documented cases of bullying to death of gays, than there are of pagans in today’s world, but nonetheless it’s wrong!

Christians are supposed to be the example of God’s LOVE to the world. Since Jesus forgave the whole world while they were yet sinners, why can’t we? I’ll tell you why, because so many Christians think they are teacher’s pets and everyone else is out. This is contrary to scripture and contrary to love.

This article about pagans discussing getting their own church caused me to cry. I sat at my desk today and felt the pain and grief in my chest as I read about their fears.

“Several months ago, my coven talked about trying to establish a community center for Pagans in our area. Many public sites suitable for celebrations close at dusk, our homes and backyards are often too small for activities, and all-too-frequently public facilities are just not available. We were still bouncing ideas around when we provoked very hostile reactions from some of our Pagan friends. For them, the issue was visibility. They opposed the community center project because its creation would reveal our presence to the larger community. All of these folks were still hiding in broom closets afraid the world will discover they are Pagans and kill them. The mere “possibility” of our opening a Pagan community center threatened them. Undoubtedly, visibility is a factor in some Pagans’ problem with publicly-known and dedicated gathering sites.”

Friends, love never threatens people (See 1 Corinthians 13). If a community of pagans live in fear of the reaction of their Christian neighbors for building a religious center then something is very wrong with your Christianity. No one should EVER have to live in fear in a Christian neighborhood! If you had an authentic love inspired Christian community people would be FLOCKING to come live near you. I know many will say that the scriptures say that followers of Christ will be hated, but you have to understand why…it was the religious leaders who hated them. They were hated for their love for others. Religion despised equality and some fundamentalist churches prove that by how they mistreat women and children. Religion favors power and control, this is why victims of sexual abuse are silenced in their churches and the criminals go unreported. Women and children are not valued.

Woe to those who claim the name of Christ and do the work of the adversary. Churchianity is a way of existing in this world and it’s members have their Christianeze lingo and brainwashed philosophies. It’s a worldy institution, all boxed in and bound up in legalistic rules and man made dogma with a counterfeit god-label loosely glued to the church sign.

There’s nothing wrong with a community having a building or family activities, nothing wrong with rock and soul music or weekly pot lucks. What’s wrong is when those places become idols that favor power over truth. It’s wrong when the leaders favor each other’s image rather than the image of Christ which is love with his Bride.

It boggles my mind how so many church leaders will turn a blind eye when the Bride of Christ is being attacked, raped, abused, bullied and forced into communistic kingdoms of their own. Do they have no reverence for the resurrected Lord and his beautiful Bride? She doesn’t belong in a casket!

When you see kingdoms like that where women are less than, questions are rejected, and child abuse goes unreported, then run as fast as your feet can carry you. It’s not a Christian community.

Jesus dined with gluttons, lounged with tax collectors, welcomed pagans and offered living water. A Christian is one who practices loving hospitality and respects their guests! No pagan should be afraid of the ‘christian’ response if they build a community center for themselves! They are free to be themselves and enjoy the love of God and enjoy loving others without fear of rejection, bullying, or spiritual tyranny!

So while not many other Christians will speak so boldly and openly to defend the freedom of pagans, I AM! So if you don’t like having pagan neighbors then YOU move to another community and leave MY friends alone. You see, my Jesus LOVES them as they are and opens his arms wide for them!

Indeed! Woe to those who claim to follow Christ and deny HIS power therein. Their faulty kingdom is built on sand.

Sisterlisa

Minister of Organic Faith

 


Biblical argument for Gays

Stay up to date with articles and resources for your spiritual journey Subscribe by Email

Soul Liberty Faith

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Filed Under: Church Culture, Persecution Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Jack Schaap Used Jack Hyles’ Approach to Church, Could be Communism

August 6, 2012 by 1 Comment

There are plenty of blogs out there where you can find an array of angry articles and hostile comment sections due to the recent devastation involving Jack Schaap and the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church movement. Plenty of folks are coming out of the woodwork, telling their stories on Facebook and on their own blogs. Most of the stories I have seen focus on First Baptist Church of Hammond specifically, but let’s not forget that there are many IFB churches where these same things are happening. There are wounded people all over the world, because of the abusive system that has been taught in IFB colleges for years!

How does something like this happen in so many churches in the same movement? Do not think you are alone in this kind of chaos, many church denominations suffer from abuse. There is a lot to take into consideration in diagnosing the root of the problem, but you can start with investigating the type of church governance that Hyles taught for so many years, of which Jack Schaap carried the torch for. I have Jack Hyle’s book, ‘Hyles Church Manual’ and I have to say that this book is full of reasons why this toxicity has continued for so long. The pattern of church governance throughout this book is accompanied by narcissistic mind control techniques. In my opinion, Jack Hyles suffered from mental illness yet was intelligent enough to create a religious saga that closely resembles a high profile soap opera.

Many will cry out, “Don’t use a broad brush to paint all IFB churches as cults“, but if they learned their form of ‘church’ from the Jack Hyles’ inheritance of theology and church governance, then it is highly likely that abuse will happen in their churches and they will use the same methods Jack Hyles used when abuse happened in his church. If you speak to as many former IFB members as I have you will see that hundreds of IFB pastors have dealt with abuse in the exact same way. If there are any IFB churches that sincerely haven’t had ANY abuse happen and they’ve been around for a long time, then kudos to the pastors who found a different way to run a church.

People can disagree with doctrine, but when it comes to a system that has a faulty infrastructure to begin with, then they are destined to topple at some point. This doesn’t necessarily mean they will close their doors, but it does mean that leaders will fall and victimize someone (or many). The only way an IFB church will ever close it’s doors is if the people stop going and the community around them is made aware of how toxic it is. I’m not so sure this is likely to happen, as cults have been around for ages and are still operating today.

In the following image we see the mentality that Hyles had about hiring staff members:

“One hundred percent UNQUESTIONED loyalty… NEVER a reflection or a doubt….just a little criticism and he would have been ERASED from consideration.“

In this image we see how he felt about staff salaries (er um, or rather how he felt about his own needs):

“If the pastor is more concerned with the staff member’s salaries than his own, they will be more concerned about HIS NEEDS than their own.”

Also, notice just above where he advises that you make it sound like his staff is highly qualified. In the page before this he instructed that all his secretaries were to be paid LESS than a business secretary. In my world we pay secretaries based on their level of intelligence, hard work, and experience. We do NOT pay them based on how high a level we can put them on a pedestal in the eyes of the people.

 

This book is so eerie as it is the same cookie cutter approach many IFB pastors still use today. This book is full of manipulation and SCARCELY a bible verse to back any of it up. The section on how to select deacons is laughable as it is exactly how deacons are chosen in many churches today. If even ONE deacon on the board does not vote a man in, then they are NOT considered. The deacon board is chosen before it ever goes to the church and the church thinks their vote actually counts, but it doesn’t. The pastor in Hyles’ approach has a system of how to find out if a member is loyal enough to join based on the doubt his current deacons have about those nominated. Remember he said, “Unquestionable loyalty, not a hint of critcism or doubt”.

Sadly, it sounds like Hyles could have gotten his method of running a church from a communist. Afterall, he did serve in World War II and maybe he experienced some PTSD or other kind of trauma that spawned this legacy of church abuse. Who knows? Many former IFB members testify that their churches felt communistic. Have you seen “Boy in the Striped Pajamas“? You may need to get it from Netflix and see it right away.

This book is riddled with scenarios that made me gasp from one page to the next and reminded me that not only do many IFB churches create clones, but the pastors themselves are clones of what is described in this book.

If a church is built on this unstable infrastructure then you will have many wide open doors for wolves to sneak in unaware. There are healthier ways of organizing a church, but do NOT use this Hyles method! The unquestioned loyalty methodology gives far too much room for the flesh to kick in and begin controlling every aspect of a congregation and very little, if not NO, accountability to protect yourselves. The traditional church governance and teaching methods of the IFB, as passed down from Jack Hyles, is toxic to the core. Any church leader or bible college that trains up new leaders to run a church like this man did is doing an incredible disservice to the Body of Christ.

Christ has made us FREE from the religious bondage that many are being suckered into. Even Hyles knew this when he dissociated from the Southern Baptist Convention. You too, are free to dissociate from toxic church environments and choose a congregation where you can heal and grow in faith without being placed into bondage.

Galatians 5:1 “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”

Sisterlisa

Filed Under: Church Culture, Spiritual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Pastor Sues Former Church Member and Loses

July 31, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I’m not too keen on the idea of cutting down other faith leaders, however shining the Light on some issues is needful for the Body as a whole. All throughout the bible we read of prophets and leaders shedding light on issues regarding other leaders both in the secular realm (Pharaoh and Simon the false pastor) and among the brethren (Paul rebuking Peter and correcting the church at Corinth). Rachel Held Evans raises awareness about abuse within Mark Driscoll’s ministry and Matthew Paul Turner shines light on bizarre teachings and practices of mega church pastors. Now let me draw your attention to a fellow blogger, Julie Anne. She began a blog to raise awareness of cult-like activity going on in a church she once belonged to. She discovered the pastor had listed his church on a review site so Julie Anne left her very raw and honest review (you’ll need to go back to the earlier reviews to find hers). Needless to say, it started a whirlwind fire storm between her and the church. The pastor took her to court to sue her for $500K in a defamation lawsuit.

The old courthouse by parrettfive, on Pix-O-Sphere
photo credit Angie

It’s very important to understand that although a church develops it’s own way of handling disputes within their community, you are not without the Constitution. Julie Anne knew that she could speak freely about her experiences with protection from the United States Constitution. She simply blogged about her opinions of the pastor and the way he governs his church community. Julie Anne brings up some valuable information regarding Christians suing each other and how others were tossed into the lawsuit by the pastor. It’s needful for the Body to understand what their American rights are, what defamation, libel, and slander really are in addition to what you can say without getting sued.

I find it ironic that pastors don’t want former members speaking about their experiences in their churches, but those same pastors will publicly condemn secular leaders and other pastors from their pulpits. Do you see the hypocrisy? We have the freedom to share our stories. Somewhere along the line, victims have been bullied into silence and those bullies have increased in power due to their fear mongering and threats of eternal torture and God’s wrath upon their lives. No one will go to hell for being honest with their opinions.

Here’s where faith comes into play. We exercise our faith by walking out our freedom. Once you know you’re freedom and the wisdom needed to navigate in this freedom, you become empowered and the bullies lose. You see, the ‘freedom’ spoken of in churches usually only allows you freedom to disagree with the Catholic Church or any secular agency the pastor targets. However, the Constitution gives you freedom to disagree with anyone! Within the church system there are rules of engagement that require you to only speak positively about the leadership and any disagreement is viewed as rebellion and they issue their own form of discipline. If you’re willing to live with their discipline, then by all means speak up while you’re still there. Just be willing to own those consequences.

If you decide to leave there may still be consequences, since many churches practice various forms of excommunication. However, once you walk out those doors you no longer have to be as close to those who want to make your life miserable for speaking up or leaving. You have the freedom to walk away. Now what about writing out your experiences on a blog like Julie Anne did or on Facebook like so many others do? I’m not a lawyer so you’ll want to double check for yourself, but as long as you aren’t accusing them by name of criminal activity then your opinion is free to be shared. A pastor or other church member might try to sue you like Pastor Chuck did to Julie Anne, but they will lose so long as you are within your Constitutional rights. So be sure and talk to a lawyer before speaking up. In addition to this, the one suing you may have to pay all your court fees.

I’m not saying that you should start a blog to publicly call a pastor out on the carpet and I’m not saying you shouldn’t, but I do think we all need to be wise about it. Although Julie Anne plowed her way through this with much courage, her life was not without stress. Thankfully, she won and her court case paves a way for all of us to gain more courage to be free. Just be willing to live with all the pros and cons of your decision.

One last thing, but certainly not last in importance. God will not condemn you for speaking up about an abusive church government. The condition of sin was extinguished through the death and resurrection of Christ the Lord. God sees you as absolutely perfect, it’s just mankind who doesn’t. So while you are free to do whatever you want, choose wisely. Whatever your choice is, you will need to live with that choice.

Sisterlisa

Filed Under: Church Culture, Spiritual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When Church Discipline Becomes Abusive

January 26, 2012 by 2 Comments

It’s not surprising that the growth of the Internet has given the global Church the power to voice their faith and concerns about the Christianity community. I’m not fond of labeling all churches within a movement as a cult, but there are times when cult tendencies become so widespread within a movement that people begin taking notice. I have posted before about some experiences I had in another movement, but what really caught my eye was how the same tactics are used in a variety of denominations.

Matthew Paul Turner courageously posted a piece about Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington that has the global Church deeply disturbed. It’s not the fact that he posted the testimony of one man that disturbs us, it’s the tactics used against this man he reports about, that is so disturbing.

I had quite a discussion with a friend last night who had also left the same environment I did. We discussed how much freedom we really have in Christ to gather, worship, and study as equals. When Peter offered to build Jesus a temple, his response was simple, “No.” Jesus’ plans were to build a new temple, in us. So why do so many Christians feel the need to build modern temples and call them churches? It’s the People who are the Church, not the buildings or programs. It certainly is within our freedom to create organized places to socialize together and develop a governance to keep the community center supported financially. However, what often happens in these kinds of community centers is deeply disturbing and the global Body is taking notice.

Many cry out, “This should not be happening in The Church!” It certainly is a heartbreaking situation when we come to love and trust a leader of such an establishment only to find accusations of alleged abuse and it’s extremely difficult to see the truth. We often tell teenagers that their love for each other has them blinded. It seems that this may be the case within the Body as well.

Does the entire Body of Christ have the authority to speak up about what happens in just one community center? Or is it a private matter for that local Body alone? Andie Redwine, Writer and Co-Producer of Paradise Recovered, has this to say;

“My position is that Mark Driscoll has a wide audience that transcends denomination. MPT gave Andrew a place to go to chat about what happened to him. The fact that we are all so moved by it means that the onus is on Driscoll to make a statement.” (MPT refers to Matthew Paul Turner)

She certainly has a point. This particular pastor has a much wider audience than just his local community of believers. When a pastor opens up to the public audience with videos, books, audios, public speaking, etc then he sure does open himself up to public outcry from the Body as a whole. Another thing to keep in mind is that Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington (not to be confused with the fascinating and gracious work of Rob Bell at Mars Hill Bible Church) has a seriously crafted membership that requires a disturbing amount of rules to live by that has many labeling as legalistic. Again, they do have the freedom to create their own governance, but the people have the freedom to not agree to it. Just because someone initially submits to it, doesn’t mean they are legally obligated to stay under such leadership. How much more reminding do we need that we live in America where we have the freedom of religion?

Regardless of how we all feel about this particular community, The Church is raising awareness of Spiritual Abuse. The government protects your freedom of religion, but you willingly submit to the church community of your choice. You have the freedom to walk away without suffering from harassment. Sadly, many congregations do not understand how to draw the line between church discipline and harassment. If you believe you are in danger of being harassed or stalked upon leaving a church community, don’t be afraid to call a lawyer and talk to a professional counselor.

Are you blogging about Spiritual Abuse in support of victims? If so, please comment with your link and I’ll add it to the list.

Matthew Paul Turner

Eric Pazdziora

David Hayward

Dr. Robert Cargill

Provender

Quivering Daughters

Michelle Pendergrass

Mike Fehlauer

Lisa Kerr

Matthew 5

 And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
 “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
  
(Matthew 5:2-12 ESV)

~Sisterlisa

Filed Under: Church Culture, Legalism, Organic Church, Spiritual Abuse Tagged With: , , , ,
«Older Posts