Finding Help When Leaving a Cult

April 16, 2011 By 5 Comments

There certainly are many online forums where you can go and talk with others about your experiences. It helps to know you’re not alone and to hear about the experiences of other people provides some validation for what you’ve been through. I have participated in many online groups over the years and have found many that were very productive and supportive and then there have been some that ended up furthering the damage I had already suffered. Thankfully, I know certified counselors who have helped walk me through various tragedies I have been through, but not everyone has certified counselors as friends.

I do not recommend using ONLY online forums for help when you have suffered from trauma of any kind. I also do not recommend that you speak to clergy (pastors, bishops etc) unless they are certified as trauma counselors. Some Christians have asked about secular counselors and expressed their concern about that since many cults openly refute going outside the church for counseling much less a secular counselor. Since religion has the track record of having trauma issues with victims of various abuses, I hesitate having counseling within their systems while you are vulnerable.

A victim of trauma, whether it’s physical, sexual, or spiritual, can suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I recommend that victims find a counselor who is certified in PTSD, relationships, and spirituality to help you.

In addition to talking to a counselor, I recommend that you do not attempt to attack your oppressor/abuser in any way whatsoever. Do not attempt to contact them, do not follow them on the Internet, and only contact the government authorities when there is physical or sexual abuse, or if you are being harassed by repeated and excessive unsolicited phone calls, mail, or the visits to your home or work place.

When you decide to join a support group, select one that has certified counselors there to moderate so you can be protected as you begin to share your story. If you’re seeing a counselor on your own, I would ask for recommendations from them to make sure you are in a legitimate support group. Many times the online forums are mainly other victims who may not be equipped to handle moderating such a sensitive group of victims. Use caution before sharing private information with them.

If you decide to blog your journey out, talk to an attorney first so you know what you can and can’t say in public., Anything you post on your blog can be potentially used against you and incite hostility among the group’s loyal members and that could backfire on you and your family. Consider using a pseudonym and avoid naming the abuser and the church name or it’s address. You can specify which movement you came out of, but avoid using a broad brush to accuse them all of such abuses. You can disagree with their church politics system and doctrines, explain how you feel the teachings are mentally, emotionally, or spiritually abusive. Your story is more likely to be listened to if you are as tactful and respectful as possible in what you’re writing.

Discussions on Facebook or other social networks can be tricky and you want to make sure your account is as private as possible to avoid hate mail or false friend requests from people posing as mutual friends of people you might know. Hostile cult members might stalk you online to read what you’re saying and that will only provoke them to be more aggressive. NEVER share information about an ongoing, unsettled case.

I began blogging about my journey a while ago, but only recently mentioned the denomination due to the fact that it ended up on 20/20. But I am careful not to name which specific church I am from. The only people who will know are those from my area who happen to find my blog and connect the dots. I do not share information that can be viewed as slander or that would incriminate those in that group. I do share the teachings and how they conduct their church politics with my disagreement on those issues. The only situations that were specific, that I shared, were situations that happened publicly and what is already on the county’s public Superior Court website.

I recently joined a cult “support” group on Facebook only to discover that the leader was provoking these tender, wounded victims to call all their local law enforcement, District Attorney’s, and social services to make generalized reports against the entire church movement. This is so grossly beyond unwise that I am shaking my head. No victim who is under this kind of duress should EVER be told and provoked to get involved in trying to be a vigilante to take the law into their own hands. A real support leader who wants to pursue a legal matter would hire a lawyer and an investigative team to handle these kinds of issues. If anyone ever puts you in a position to attempt to handle legal matters on your own, USE CAUTION and consider leaving the group so you won’t be taken advantage of.

Many times victims are passionate about informing others about false doctrines and potentially put them in dangerous positions. Sometimes that passion can manifest in ways and with words that could actually hinder their cause, rather than help them. Their best course of action is to hire lawyers and let them handle it professionally.

Raising awareness to an issue that you feel is needed in our society should be done professionally and as peacefully as possible. Consult a lawyer, or another Awareness Campaign Manager that has a good reputation in their own causes, for guidelines to help make your campaign a powerful one that is respected by the listening and watching audience.

If you have any questions let me know.

*Disclaimer: I am NOT a lawyer. I am, however,  a certified PTSD counselor, Addictions and Recovery Counselor, Assistant to an Interventionist, and have 17 years experience in spiritual matters and abusive relationships through ministry.

If you have questions about legal matters I recommend you call a lawyer. Many lawyers will meet with you for free for a consultation.

Filed Under: Healing, Spiritual Abuse Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

This Miserable Christian Life

April 4, 2011 By 2 Comments

In the midst of a very troublesome time in my life, and I’ve had many of those days, I walked by the television and saw a televangelist talking about how great life is. My first reaction was disgust. He’s obviously delusional, because my life certainly wasn’t like the kind of Christian life he was speaking of. Sure, he had lots of money, a huge church, and was world famous for his preaching. Of course he had a “wonderful” life. Here I was, serving the Lord, homeschooling my children, working hard with my husband in ministry, reading my bible, yes all the typical every day regular things every “good” Christian is “supposed” to do and I was in utter despair every day. I was told by many preachers “God has a wonderful plan for your life”. They failed to tell me that this “wonderful Christian” life was going to be filled with hard times. They failed to explain to me that life keeps hurling curve balls in my direction and how many times I would keep striking out. I didn’t want to strike out! I wanted to hit Grand Slam home runs everyday, yet I felt like I was striking out every ..single.. day.

I was miserable.

I went door knocking to invite people to church, I shared the Romans Road with people, I prayed with hurting people, and I served meals to the homeless.

I was still miserable.

My marriage had survived a tragic storm early on that spanned six years of grief. God was good to me and carried me through it and I was thankful (and still am) that we made it through.

I was still miserable.

I have four beautiful children, three girls then we finally got our boy. We were ecstatic to see his boy part on the ultra sound. He was a whopping ten pound line backer! He is such a joy to our lives.

I was still miserable.

With all these seemingly good things in my life, why did I feel so miserable?

There were days after days that I would look up into the clouds and beg with sobs for the Lord’s return. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t put on the fake smile and walk into church another day. I couldn’t wake up and feed my kids with a false chipper voice another day. I couldn’t be sweet to my husband another day. I felt like I was going to burst at any moment.

I was miserable.

And the worst part about it all, I didn’t know why.

Why did life look so hideous to me? Why did I see myself as such a loser?

I couldn’t measure up.

I couldn’t be Mrs. Pastor’s Wife.

I kept pressing on, because just as God got me through the first rough six years of my marriage storm, surely he could get me through this.

A very short conversation while passing by Mrs. Pastor’s Wife..a humorous thing my little boy said about something the pastor said while preaching. I thought it was one of those cute little things..you know..the silly things kids say kind of thing. The next day I saw her, walking over to me, her lips trembling, her hands shaking. In front of my daughter she says some things that didn’t make sense to me at the time. She was obviously upset, but not in an angry way. It seemed like she was afraid. Her eyes filled with tears then after she was done sharing her thoughts she quickly walked away.

My daughter was shocked, “What was that about?”

“I don’t know, lets just pray” I replied.

I took a deep breath. I went home. I prayed. I listened to the Lord. What was she talking about?

He spoke to me. “It was about that little silly thing your son said”

I grieved. That little silly thing that I thought was so cute, struck some chord in her that caused her to tremble, caused her to approach me with abrupt words. She was grieving too.

I prayed and decided to call her. It was obviously a misunderstanding, but I didn’t want to attempt to defend myself or my son, it was far more important to hear what was hurting her than it would be for me to say she was somehow wrong and that me and my son had not sinned.

I apologized, not that I had done wrong, but that my words somehow had hurt her.

She cried.
I cried.

We’re both ministry wives, married to men who serve in a leadership role in two very different types of ministries. I knew the pressure of a leader’s wife. I lived it every day.

She shared with me that there is not one church service that finishes up without someone telling her that her husband’s preaching is wrong. She said, “As if I can actually do something about it”. I reflected, quickly, on how many people had left the church during the years I had been there. People she was close to. That must be so difficult to keep losing friendships because they disagreed with her husband. I imagined how hard it might be to remain loyal, loving, and true to a man who many in the town thinks badly toward.

I had never said anything negative about him to her. But somehow the silly thing my son said came out wrong and she mistook it for just another one of those things she is often hit with after church dismisses.

We cried together.

Do other women, who do all the loyal ministry things, feel miserable too?

I don’t think being a ministry wife has anything to do with it though. That would be petty of me to assume that lay people in a church don’t experience the same things. We all experience turmoil and pressure.

We’re miserable people trying to figure out how to live this life in Christ. How to live through the pressures of life, how to deal with the rejection of others, how to handle broken relationships. Christ never promised us that this earthly life would be a blissful utopia that flows melodiously without interruptions.

So how can I live this life in Christ without feeling miserable?

Remember my identity is in Christ. Your identity is in Christ.

Trying to live up to the identity that others want us to have will leave us feeling miserable, like failures.

When we keep focusing on the failures of others and the failures of ourselves we squash the life essence of Christ right out of us. When we unleash our anger and frustration out on others we are attacking the Christ who dwells within them. We essentially proclaim that Christ isn’t doing His job in them or in us.

We’re a work in progress and he says to rest while He does the work.

Beautiful reminder by hopewilbanks, on Pix-O-Sphere

{photo credit by Hope}

James 1:4 But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Maybe we can cut others (and ourselves) some slack  and let God do what He will, in His timing, instead of trying to rush people ahead of Christ.

Filed Under: Friends, Healing

The Pastor’s Affair

January 23, 2011 By 4 Comments
In all my years of ministry, there has been a look down upon ministry wives that don’t meet a specific criteria. If your husband isn’t a 501c3 ‘church’ with a building and tithing members, he’s not REALLY a pastor and you’re not REALLY a pastor’s wife. Then over years of study and deep questioning among theologians all over the word we discovered that a 501c3, a building, and tithing members isn’t what makes a person a minister or minister’s wife. Being a minister is a gift in the heart. It’s Christ manifesting Himself through His chosen vessels. Then you attend a variety of conferences for Christian women where certain pastor’s wives get special treatment. You know the ones. The ones who’s husband’s have the largest churches. “Your husband’s ministry isn’t big enough for you to be considered among the highest of pastor’s wives.” Sounds like high school all over again.
I was once told by a pastor’s wife this statement, “If you publish a book, we’ll have you in to speak to the women”. So now authoring a book is the prerequisite to sharing my story. I don’t see where this is in the bible that a woman has to write a book before she can minister to other women.
After the teaching sessions have ended and the pastor’s wives are signing their books, autographing the inside cover of bibles, I look around the room. I see a woman sitting alone at a table, in deep thought. I ask if I can sit with her. Her face lights up. The first kindness shown to her that day, she begins to unfold her life story to me in great detail. During the course of her story it dawns on her how something in her life had been a stumbling block to her family and she confesses it through sobs.
She somehow sees herself as a wedge between her husband and his ministry. She’s a pastor’s wife. She had been judged harshly by the other pastor’s wives. This woman is in deep depression and her husband has been trying to send friends to her side to comfort her and lift her up. You see, he’s so busy with ministry and his wife’s depression is ‘hindering’ his work. My heart breaks. Her heart is broken as she is under the weight of the condemnation the other minister’s wives have placed on her. She is suffering enough as it is. I continue to listen and she continues to speak, pausing every few words so she can catch her breath. She grips her chest and her face winces in pain. Her eyes flowing with tears and her neck tightening with gulps of air.
She tells of her husband’s ministry. She describes a seemingly glorious work, a magnificent building of crystal chandeliers, plush carpets and padded pews. After every service, women are lining up to get his autograph in their bibles and they cry their tears of sadness that their husbands don’t attend church with them. He pats them on the shoulders, assuring them to stay faithful to church, give their tithes, and bring their kids. She tells about how he gives public praise to these women for coming to church, that their faithfulness to serve in the house of worship is highly commendable.
But he rebukes his wife in the car on the way home. She hadn’t reached out to these women. He scolds her for spending too much time at the altar praying alone, when she could have been praying with these women. He tells her that she is selfish and should present a better example to the church…to be a good pastor’s wife.
She sobs under muffled words that I can’t understand. She catches her breath again, hoping no one notices her talking to me. She whisper’s, “He’s having an affair with the ministry”
This is a scenario that many minister’s wives face every week. They think they are alone in seeing this dilemma. My dear sisters in Christ, you are not the only one who notices.
This is a serious issue that needs to be brought to the light. Many minister’s wives are in deep agony over their pain and they need help. They face the fear of speaking up, thinking that ministry could crumble under the weight of the truth being revealed. So they suffer in silence. They sacrifice their own hearts on the altar of the pastor’s desire to grow a ministry.
Jesus Christ is the Groom to the Bride, His Church. The minister has his own bride, his wife. But he wants Christ’s Bride. Is this not the story of David and Bathsheba all over again? Wanting what isn’t his and forsaking his own for his fleshly desires. A minister’s marriage is not higher than the others. It is also not to be neglected in order to further some man built building. We are all equal in Christ. Any marriage in a fellowship that is suffering needs help. It’s high time Christianity stop trying to protect the image of the pastor and his church at the cost of other people’s lives.
Women of the church,… leave the preacher alone. He has a wife.
Cross Sculpture by cherie, on Pix-O-Sphere

Filed Under: Agape, Grace, Healing

Spiritual Abuse Awareness

January 12, 2011 By 2 Comments
After two years of rediscovering who I am in Christ, God has crossed my path with several others who suffered from spiritual abuse. We have discussed in depth over these two years, the negative effects of spiritual abuse and the characteristics of it. We found that spiritual abuse is not isolated to any one specific denomination, as a matter of fact, we saw it throughout many world religions.
worship by sisterlisa, on Pix-O-Sphere
We have declared January, Spiritual Abuse Awareness Month. Many of us are writings article of our journey to freedom and will be posting them at the blog Spiritual Abuse Awareness.
We do not want to use this blog as a place to be negative or hurtful to others. We want it to be factual and testimonial. We want to raise awareness, offer resources, and encourage others who have felt battered, shunned, and unloved by abusive religion.
If you have been on a journey to freedom and would like to contribute your testimony to the blog to help others heal, contact me at sisterlisa {at} spiritualabuseawareness.com

If you are still suffering, there is hope. There is support. You’re not alone.


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Filed Under: Healing, Legalism

Leaving a Church

December 10, 2010 By 3 Comments

If you’ve been in any church for a great length of time and have felt the need to leave, it is never an easy decision. If you have deeply invested your heart in the lives of the people and they have done the same with you, it makes it all the more difficult. I watched a documentary of how the Amish operate their Ordnungs  and the reasons why they excommunicate and shun those they feel are in ‘rebellion’ to their bishops. This is not an isolated practice. Many different churches function in similar ways and in varying degrees. 
A person may feel they have come to a place in their studies where they feel that they are in such deep disagreement that they can no longer attend that church. Other people leave because of abuse of authority and others may leave because there were deeper issues such as a pastor having an affair or is being dishonest with the government and the people about their finances. People leave churches for various reasons.
Of all the people I have spoken to about why they left church and how they did so, I have yet to find anyone who was able to respectfully part ways in love. Most times they left, because there was wounded hearts that couldn’t mend easily.
I have seen people slip out quietly by missing churches services every now and then and gradually missing more often until they just aren’t there anymore. If the church is a very busy church they may not even notice these families missing for quite a while. Then, when they do finally notice and they decide to go by or call them, the ones who left are hurt that it took so long for them to notice. Then there are those who notice right away and keep calling them, when the ones who left don’t want the contact anymore and feel at odds with how to say how they feel without hurting the church members.
We have also spoken to those who felt that the right decision in leaving was to attempt the Matthew 18 approach by going to the leadership directly with their concerns. 
In this attempt they felt the leadership was refusing to assist or perhaps it’s the leadership in the wrong and they refuse to repent. This poses a tremendous problem, because their next option is to find more people to confront this leadership with them. Most church members don’t want to do that and if they do humbly agree to help, if the leadership still refuses then these members are obligated to go before the whole church about the matter. Many times this brings about a church split. This can be a terribly painful experience for the whole church and a split among friendships that took many years to forge. This kind of scenario is like a divorce and it hurts everyone in the process.
Since every church handles departures differently it is difficult to figure out just how to handle situations like these. Every church, its leadership, and how it functions vary so greatly. Many have asked, “How do you leave a church?” To which I ask, “How do you leave a marriage?” It’s difficult and painful no matter how it’s done.
Some feel it’s best to slip away quietly and others feel a firm approach is best for them, but always keep in mind that the whole church will feel the loss. The members who leave aren’t the only ones in pain.
Looking back on our departure from a place we invested our hearts in for over a decade, I have pondered what I wish could have happened. 
I wish they could have let us go with a blessing and no hard feelings for our disagreement. I wish they had not tried so hard to limit our contact with those we were closest to. I wish the people would not have condemned us and cursed us for leaving. I wish just one of our closest friends would have listened when we said who hurt us and how they hurt us. We didn’t want people to choose sides. We needed love and support. We wanted help with the situations we were in. We weren’t listened to, we were rebuked for speaking the truth no matter how loving we were. It became a big mess, and we never meant for it to be so. We all got broken hearts over it from the leaders, our friends, ourselves, but mostly…the children. Isn’t that how it always is? The children are always hurt the most.
We deeply love the people and we are reminded of how Paul and Barnabas parted ways.
Acts 15 36And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” 37Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. 38But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. 39And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, 40but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. 41And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.
Sometimes the contention just happens and there isn’t anything we can do to make it different. So here is what I’d like to share that I wish I had known when we left our former church.
It’s ok to disagree with the leadership about doctrine. Paul disagreed with Peter about doctrine and Paul spoke about it openly in front of Peter. I wouldn’t necessarily suggest anyone do this, but there is a time and place for it and it should be bathed in prayer beforehand. Seek the wisdom of others before doing so.
False teachers have been around for ages. You aren’t going to take down an entire denomination by just rebuking the pastor openly. The disciples told Jesus that they saw men casting out demons, but they sent them away since they didn’t know them.  Jesus told them not to do so. Sometimes it’s best to just walk away and say nothing. He also said that if a work is of God it will stand and if it is not of God it will fall. We can’t ‘right’ all that we think is ‘wrong’ with churches.
Attempting to be abrupt in disagreeing openly with a pastor will not only hurt the church members, but it will hurt your family as well. Some pastors will beckon for you to come before their elders before you ever get a chance to say something openly. In which case, you’ll probably be rebuked for disagreeing and you could possibly be disfellowshipped, excommunicated, shunned, or asked to leave quietly. It’s going to hurt, but graciously walk away in peace.
Maybe you feel the vision of the leadership is not the vision God has given you. Perhaps your pastor won’t listen to the vision God has given you. Maybe finding out where God would use your vision would be better than staying where His voice through you is not welcome. We’re all human and sometimes we don’t all always understand how God speaks to others. 
Maybe the problem is you and you may need to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness.
Sometimes you simply don’t know why you need to leave; you just feel a tug from the Lord to do so. 
No matter the reason, it’s not easy to leave a church.
It’s going to be painful.
This too shall pass.
I don’t know if telling people why you leave is important. Sometimes it’s just easier to say it is a preference and leave it at that. Sometimes it’s best to be open about why you’re leaving. Only you know the answer to that dilemma. God will guide you and any step you later feel was the wrong step, God’s grace has it covered. You’re not alone and you’re not the only one who has gone through this.
Just know this, God loves you deeply and you have the freedom to go where you feel God is leading you.
This was shared from not only my personal experience, but from testimonies of others who have left churches. It is not meant to be a cookie cutter approach on how to leave a church, but rather a simple testimonial from the experience of others who have been through this. I pray that even one small portion of this will help you in whatever decision your family needs to make.


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Filed Under: Healing, Legalism, Organic Church

Healing After Abuse

August 17, 2010 By 11 Comments
Many times I have known women who have been battered by their husbands, beaten in schools by bullies, verbal abused by ‘friends’, and outcast by cliques. If you are a lady who has experienced all of those in your life time you are not alone and may God bless your soul with His infinite grace and mercy as you seek Him for healing. Although not all of us have experienced all of these types of abuse, but perhaps we have suffered at the hands of a few abusers in our life time. The pain is still there and we need healing.

I’m not going to explain all the facts about the cycle of abuse an abuser goes through or really the cycle the victim goes through. Although, I do feel that education is key in escaping that cycle and breaking it once and for all so you never return to it again. What I aim to do today is simply direct you to Jesus Christ. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. He knows your pain and He was with you when it happened. He knows every intricate detail of the amount of physical pain, emotional shame, spiritual upheaval, and social consequences to what you have experienced.

I have experienced a few of these types of abuse in my life and sometimes I just don’t want to think about it. Many times I have pushed those memories to the back of my mind, the darkest place of my being, so that I don’t have to relive every painful moment of my past. Yet time and time again, some how some way that pain is brought forth to the front of my mind and heart, desperately seeking to be brought to light. Why must I keep seeing those horrible images of memories be brought out again and again? Why can’t I just hide them forever and not remember them ever again? I want it to stay in the deepest, darkest parts of my memories so I don’t have to see it! There’s something about this resurfacing of pain. It must be brought to the light, the Light named Jesus Christ.

Yes, he knows our every pain and he is already well aware of what has happened to us, but have we actually handed it over to Him so He can do what He wants with it? When we plant a seed of pain and anguish in the deepest, darkest parts of our being, it begins to germinate and take root. This is the process of bitterness. Bitterness breeds hate and hate grips our minds and souls with its talons and rips us apart from the inside. If we allow bitterness to take root then how can Christ work through us to extend grace to those who need to see Him?

I feel that sometimes we don’t think we are bitter, but when triggers appear and our first reaction is anger or we experience pain again then we most surely have allowed that seed to germinate. That root system must be brought to the Light so He can do His work on us. His Light is a dividing light that will shine so bright that it burns up that root system and seed so that it will no longer exist. The memories will always be with us, but the pain they cause will cease. When He brings it out, he will not use it against us, to hurt us, belittle us, or condemn us.

He wants to show us what he does with that bitterness and pain. He wants to show us how he covers it with His own blood, so that we can look at it through His eyes and see the beauty he brings to all things. All things for His good pleasure. To show us how much he loves us and how his mercy and grace can reach down to the deepest, darkest parts of our being, and gently lift the root system out. He then will place his gentle, healing hand over our fresh wound and anoint us with His healing power. He wants to embrace us and have us embrace him back.

I won’t tell you that it won’t be without tears and pain, it just may hurt at first, but only if we look at the root system with hatred and disgust. If we indeed look at this process with those eyes then we are no better than the one who hurt us. We must submit to the power of Christ and allow Him to show us how to look through the eyes of grace. I can only say these words to you because I know how this feels. Last night God showed me how to look at one of my past abusers through His eyes of grace. As he showed me this abuser I began to pray for this man. I prayed for him and the family he now has. The more I pray for him the more my heart heals. The more my heart heals, the more grace I can see. The more grace I can see, the clearer my vision of Christ becomes and that is the ultimate goal. To see Christ in all His glory, as much as we can possibly see with our human eyes and he sure wants us to see Him up close and personal.

Dear Believer, Jesus Christ can heal your broken heart. You can trust Him. I don’t know if you’ll ever trust the abuser again or any person who holds a similar position, but I know you can trust Jesus Christ. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Let him embrace you and embrace him right back. No quick hugs, let this embrace last you a lifetime. Don’t ever let go.


Song of Solomon 2:6, “His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.”

Filed Under: Healing, Spiritual Abuse

Was it Healing They Needed to Believe in?

April 3, 2010 By 2 Comments
by Sisterlisa
Many believers ask about healing. What about those who don’t understand everything about Jesus? Do they lack faith in healing? What do we tell them when they need healing? I have wondered the same thing. When Lazarus died Jesus wept. But why? The people thought it was beacuse He loved Lazarus so much, but they missed it. Look what the passage says in John 11:
33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled.
Why do you think Jesus groaned in His spirit here?
34 And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. 35 Jesus wept. 36 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him!
Most people think that is why He wept, but I see this:
37 And some of them said, Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died?
They doubted him by his supposed ‘inability’ to “prevent” physical death.
38 Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it.
Look at that, He groaned again.
39 Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days. 40 Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?
He keeps telling them to BELIEVE, but is it ‘healing’ that he wanted them to believe in?
41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me.
I would imagine that is what his groanings were about. He was praying…with groanings that couldn’t be uttered.
42 And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me.
43 And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth. 44 And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.
45 Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, **believed on him**
He heals because He loves, but do they believe in HIM. Or do they just want the healing? Are they willing to love him without the healing? He has unconditional love for us, but do we have it for Him?
I do believe in healing, but my faith is not in the healing, but in Jesus Christ. I have no issues about medicine. Luke was a doctor. But I think Jesus put him out of business for a long time. ;O) Yet doctors are still here today and He uses them to help us. I don’t think they or their drugs are any kind of substitute. But I do believe we are entering into a time when His miraculous healing will manifest once again. Abide in Him! He might use you one day. It’s not about us, but Jesus in us, that does the healing. The next time your heart of compassion leaps out of your being toward a cripple or ill person, reach out and touch them. And only say what Jesus tells you to say. Sometimes it won’t be a word, but just a touch. Trust Him.



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Reflecting Back to Move Forward

January 1, 2010 By Leave a Comment

by Sisterlisa

This last year sure has been an eye opening experience for our family as well as a profound spiritual jump in our walk with our Lord. It’s so humbling when He shows us what we did not know and a glimpse of what He’s beginning to show us. There are some who are fearful of what 2010 will bring and some who are spiritually excited as they see prophecies being fulfilled.
Let’s reflect back to move forward by taking a look at the top 5 spiritual truths you learned in 2009. Whether it was from here at AGM, from your own fellowship, or another blog. Let us know what they have been and how He has impacted your life.

Sisterlisa is a homeschooling mom of four children and married to an evangelist who travels to bring the gospel to those in need of our Savior and who works with Rescue Ministries. She is the owner of Growing in Grace Magazine and AGMinistries. Stumble This!



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By Two or Three Witnesses

December 11, 2009 By Leave a Comment

by Sisterlisa

We hosted a poll over the past few weeks to see how many of you have suffered persecution. I admit we have no way of knowing where, those who voted, live. But the results show that persecution is inflicted upon people in a way that is difficult to prove, which also makes it difficult to stop. In the years of working with hurting men and women over the last decade, we have seen this cycle of mental abuse.

Most times the best way to relieve yourself from experiencing this kind of persecution is to abstain from contact with those abusive people. From our experience over the years we have seen that breaking away from someone who is abusive is because there is a relationship developed that is hard to break away from.

In the beginning we tend to overlook subtle abuse because we are ‘blinded by love’, as many victims of abuse call it. So, we overlook the abuse and we never speak up about how we feel. When we do that it makes it easier for the abusive ones to inflict more and take advantage of you more often. This is enabling. We love them, overlook the abuse, and enable them to continue being abusive. So, what do you do when it gets to a point where you are under such oppression, but feel so stuck in the relationship? (Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not spoeaking about marriage, that is another matter entirely.) I’m speaking about other types of relationships. Whether it’s a friend, a co-worker, or religious leader, etc.
We find ourselves in a real jam. If we stop putting up with it and voice our opinion they may retaliate against us or get angry at us speaking up about it. Hold it right there. If we suspect that their reaction will be taken as an offense then that may be a good indicator that we need distance from them, or perhaps we have misunderstood. In any event, the situation demands attention. Our Lord tells us in Matthew 18 that we are to find witnesses to help assist.
Matthew 18:16, “16But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.”
I had a discussion with my husband about this. Since Jesus told us that we need to get two or three witnesses to assist us in establishing a matter, then it is clearly evident to us that those two or three witnesses are bound by biblical command from Jesus, to assist. But when believers refuse to get involved, you continue to seek for help. By the time twenty to thirty people have refused to help you, word gets around and suddenly you’re labeled as a gossip. However, if the first three people would have responded to our Lord’s command to assist, then it may never have gotten around town to begin with.
  • I recommend you take time to pray before seeking the first few witnesses. You need to make sure they are strong individuals who seek to bring reconciliation to all involved and who can stand firm with everyone.
  • You may want to explain the situation before you inform them of who it involves.
  • Be in prayer together as a group before coming together for a meeting with the individual(s).
  • Be willing to be corrected if you have done wrong as well.
If you are ever approached by someone who needs your assistance in mediating a situation, take it seriously. Please do not deny helping those who need you. If you honestly feel that you won’t be able to help them, then at least help them find someone who can. But please do not leave them hanging.



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Filed Under: Grace, Healing, Organic Church, Spiritual Abuse

It’s Okay to Cry

December 5, 2009 By 2 Comments

by Sisterlisa

Have you ever had those days when you just feel like laying in bed with a box of Kleenex and cry all day? Sometimes there’s no apparent reason, but just an overwhelming flood of emotions that knock you flat out. David wrote about such things in Psalms. It is obvious he suffered from different stages of depression.
He felt loneliness, despair, suffering, self-condemnation, etc. His emotions became overwhelming for different reasons. Some were due to the persecution he suffered at the hands of Saul. David loved the king and could have taken King Saul’s life in the cave that day, but he chose not to. He remained hidden in the cave, safe from danger, but still feeling the fear inside, that the king he loved so much sought to slay him.
Later in life he suffered from depression as he faced the guilt of his sin with Bathsheba. But through that time he realized the grace of God, as he could have suffered so much deeper, but because he had a heart after God, our Lord was merciful.
We know that Job suffered from overwhelming emotions as well, as he lost all of his children and wealth. Job was an upright man, he did not deserve the attack from the enemy. God, in his sovereignty, allowed that attack and Job sought God in the middle of all that pain.
Just because someone is innocent of accusations against them does not mean they go without emotional suffering during such an attack. I am in amazement that David remained loving towards Saul as Saul chased him throughout the land with such hatred. From what we read about their story it seems as though King Saul really didn’t understand just how much David loved him. King Saul was driven by his jealousy over the victories God was giving to David. David was not trying to out-do King Saul in battle, it was being given to him by God. Nonetheless, Saul hated David and wanted him dead. Perhaps, that in Saul’s mind, he felt  justified that he was the anointed king who had divine right to the throne, but failed to recognize that God is king of kings and could replace him if he so chooses. The throne really belonged to God and God chooses who sits on that earthly thrones. When we hold onto the thing we most desperately think we have a right to, is just when God may choose to show us that our focus to keep our eyes on Him, has failed. Whether we are the victim or the persecutor, we all experience those battles of the mind.
When we experience an attack from people we love, it hurts. It hurts a lot. The emotional anguish of betrayal is so painful that you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest. It’s a pain that makes it hard to breathe. It feels like a part of your heart has died. In that death, Jesus Christ can show you His life. In our weakness, he is strong. Even when we feel weak, it’s His strength that carries us through. It doesn’t change the sadness you feel. It doesn’t stop the tears from overtaking you. It doesn’t relieve the heaviness in your chest when you try to breathe, but He is there and he is carrying you. Be sure you have a multitude of counselors who can keep you encouraged during this time. Pray for God to protect you from more attacks as you recover. Ask loved ones to keep additional stress from being put on your shoulders. And when you feel like crying, it’s okay to do so. Just take a few minutes and cry out to Jesus, but then get back up and get back to life. He will renew you and strengthen you each and every day.
2 Corinthians 12:9, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 


  



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