I remember those nights as a little girl, laying in bed, in the dark, with a hint of light peeking through the crack under the door. That tiny ray of light did a lot to illuminate shadows in my room and in the sleepiness of my mind, my eyes would see all sorts of things that scared me to death. Why is it that shadows at night scare small children? Why do they fear what’s under the bed at night, but not in the daytime?
{photo credit Darron Haworth}
When I was a teen, I was engrossed in watching horror films for kicks, you know..those seemed like fun nights with friends, popcorn, and pizza. Maybe all that junk food did something to my brain when the lights went off, but I’m pretty sure it had more to do with the movie I watched than anything else. You’d think a teenager knew not to be afraid of the dark anymore. Horror films about aliens have been huge for many years and I watched just about every one I could get my hands on.
One night I woke up in the middle of the night and lay there frozen, wrapped up to my neck with my blanket and afraid to open my eyes. Why was I afraid to open my eyes? It was my room, in my parent’s house, what could be so scary that I can’t even open my eyes? That fear had been deeply embedded into my mind and even though I wasn’t seeing anything, I was gripped with fear. I wrestled with my thoughts as I lay there. There’s nothing to be afraid of, just open your eyes! I couldn’t do it. The fear was building momentum, but I knew I had to conquer my fear and the only way to do that was to open my eyes.
I braced myself for what I’d see, even though I knew my room was dark, but in my mind I was convinced I was going to see something anyway. I grabbed my blanket and wrapped it around my fists and forced myself to open my eyes.
There it was…now I couldn’t close my eyes…I couldn’t breathe..I tried to move my head slowly..and what I saw..moved..I shook my head thinking I must still be asleep and I looked again and it moved again..I thought this thing was going to reach out and grab me before I could scream for help..this thing..it looked like 2 or 3 of them..with some kind of odd visors over their eyes..all I could see was a sliver of light across their eyes in a horizontal fashion..I moved quickly and they moved quickly and I belted out a blood curdling scream as if my life depended upon it.
I screamed and sobbed uncontrollably and my mom burst through the door and flipped the light switch on in a panic. She screamed back “What? What? What’s wrong???” I opened my eyes and pointed right to where they had stood..and there was nothing there. I sobbed again..still afraid..even though it was no longer there..then I got even more scared thinking these ‘beings’ had the ability to appear and disappear so quickly. I tried to explain to my mom what I saw.. I couldn’t find the words. I was shaking still, tears streaming down my face. I knew I had to conquer this for my own sanity as well as for my mom’s at this point. I took a deep breath and asked her to turn off the light again. I was still in my bed, wrapped in my blanket, sitting up but my fists were still wrapped up in my blanket..fear still had me. She turned off the light and there they were again! I screamed, “Turn the light on!!” My mom didn’t see what I saw. I couldn’t be going crazy. I didn’t want to be crazy. I had to figure this out!
I took another deep breath and she turned the light off again, and there they were again, I jumped up out of bed and then it hit me..There was a light outside my window and the light was bleeding through the slats of the mini blinds. This small slit of light beamed into my room and wrapped around objects in my room, creating horizontal lines that seemed to move when I would move. That light, with a wild imagination, memories of multiple alien flicks in my subconscious, and the darkness of my room and a sleepy head got the best of me and frightened the dickens out of me…and my mom. No mother should have to hear their daughter scream like that in the middle of the night. But I had a serious issue with fear and that fear had power over my mind.
We are fed with fears all the time, in movies, in songs, by watching the news, and even in churches. Why do humans have such a passion and desire to feed fear to themselves? Fear is known to make people do wild and crazy things. With a world so full of fearful images and teachings, Jesus says not to fear. How can we possibly not fear?
The description I gave here from my personal childhood is the accurate description of fear and then we tell children to fear God. So what kind of fear are we setting our next generation up for? This kind of childhood fear that I experienced..I’m supposed to have in God? I have to be that afraid of Him? Afraid to open my eyes in His presence, when He moves, at night or in the day time? Gripping my blanket kind of fear in God? But the Bible says to fear not. This just doesn’t make sense at all. How am I supposed to trust someone that I also have to be afraid of?
I think the word ‘fear’ has made it’s way into the Christian teachings in a way it never should have. This word ‘fear’ and it’s definition in regards to God and our relationship with Him has been skewed. God is our Father and He should be the one running to my dark room in my mind to turn the Light on, to assure me I’m safe, that he protects me. Somewhere along the way the teachings in many churches tell us to fear God as if He’s the nightmare in my mind that grips me and freezes me in time to scream for help to get away from Him.
But is it really God that we need to be afraid of? If I’m not to be afraid of God, what do I need to be afraid of?
So now people create something for you to be afraid of, but that’s the problem right there! Instead of realizing we have nothing to be afraid of, we create something to be afraid of. Where shall we go to find something to be afraid of? Greek mythology is the place most films, stories, songs, and even churches go to in order to create a cesspool for fear to remain in and multiply in.
Why do we keep doing this to ourselves and our children?
David wasn’t afraid, not even of a loud mouthed giant who held a very big sword. We tell kids in Sunday School to be bold as David was, having full confidence in the power of God. Not even needing the King’s armor, just run right out there with the weapon you have and sling that rock!
Why do military leaders, football coaches, and personal coaches have to spend so much time giving a speech to build up people to go into battle to win?
Because they’re afraid.
But why are we so afraid?
Maybe because we keep feeding those fears unnecessarily. Maybe we’ve lost the ability to teach proper, intelligent pros and cons of things so we can make rational decisions based on faith.
Fear does wicked things in fearful people. Fear festers in the hearts and minds of humans and even in animals. The way to ease those fears is with assurance of safety, build their confidence to think clearly, and build up their faith. But we sabotage ourselves by continuing the scary stories and we pluck it all down with our own hands. So it’s high time we stop telling the scary stories and keep on with the encouragement that we serve the Almighty Living God who is the God of all living creation!
There are fears that are taught in Christianity that have weaved their ways into the minds and hearts of the people and it’s time we turn the light on and face those fears in the true Light of Christ out Lord and become the victorious people He said we could be.
I do hope you’ll join me as I venture into this dark realm of fear and expose those fears as what they are. I will reveal the source of those fears and we can look at them in His Light and in the boldness of our faith in Him, our Savior. Just as when my mom turned on the light and we investigated where those images were coming from and the fact that I really needed to stop watching scary movies. Conquering fears is serious business, especially when it’s wrapped up with religious lingo and it has been fed to us for hundreds and hundreds of years.
It just might be that some are so bound up in their fears that no matter how much investigating we do together and no matter how much Light we shine on this topic and no matter how much we say we are a victorious people in Christ, some will choose to stay in the bed, with the blanket tightly wrapped around them, as they keep their eyes shut tight and scream. I’m truly sad for those who will reject the truth and remain bound in fear, but that is their decision to make. This is how deep the power of fear runs in people and the truly scary thing is how those fears cause those people to behave and the awful things they do in the name of God propelled by those fears. Yet God remains the God of all and he has a purpose for each and every one of us and that’s what we’ll focus on, ourselves.
